Only Hope
by Spikesslayer8
Summary: This one is a little hard to summaries to bare with me : Set season 6 but is very AU. What if Buffy's parents where killed by vampires when she was fourteen starting a whole new chain of events that lead Buffy to England and Faith to Sunnydale? N
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1_

_Welcome to the Hellmouth._

An eerie calm had settled over Sunnydale in the past month, Giles still couldn't believe she was gone, Faith the vampire slayer had died a little over a month ago, sacrificing herself for her sister Dawn and the world. She had been the slayer for four years and before that it had been Kendra, who had sadly died only a year after arriving in Sunnydale. Giles had never met the young slayer Kendra but after she had been killed by a group of vampires protecting her watcher, the man decided to retire and move away from the hell mouth. That is when Giles had been called there to meet and prepare the new slayer Faith.

She was young barely sixteen, but surprisingly she had been open to the idea and taken to slaying quiet easily. She had bested so many enemies, Giles had almost forgot that she wasn't invisible… almost! That was until he had seen her body lying broken and lifeless on the ground, she had taken Dawn's place jumping through the portal in order to close it and she had and it had cost her, her life. Her friends had been devastated, Tara had held Willow as they lowered the slayer's body into the ground, Xander and Anya had cried hard throughout the whole service. Dawn hadn't wanted to go, but after much convincing she had watched as they buried her sister. Giles had asked Willow and Tara to look after Dawn that night and once night fell he waited. It didn't take long for first Spike to arrive to say good bye to the slayer he cared about, and then of course Angel had arrived roses in hand.

Surprisingly, the two vampires played nice keeping their past where it belonged and saying goodbye to the slayer they both deeply cared for. Angel had loved Faith but after losing his soul after their one and only night together, he had left both Sunnydale and Faith scared of hurting her again. Then, Spike had arrived only to be captured by the initiative and Faith's current boyfriend Graham, rendered helpless and unable to feed. Faith took him in on the condition that he helped them when they needed help and he had eventually moved into a crypt. He was always by the slayers side, eventually confessing his feelings for Faith and while she cared for him, she simply couldn't bring herself to date another vampire, not after the heartbreak she experienced with Angel. Then, only three weeks later she had died.

Hanging up the phone, Giles looked around the Magic Box at the scooby gang. He couldn't believe it, how would he tell them? What would he say? Faith had only been gone a month, most of them hadn't even had time to really grieve for their loss and now… sighing he cleaned his glasses, trying to think of the best way to tell them and as if on cue Spike walked into the Magic Box, Dawn trailing behind him. She did that most nights, spent time with Spike as he now lived with them after Giles had taken custody of Dawn.

"Ah Spike, Dawn, good timing I need a word with all of you."

Nodding, Spike and Dawn took a seat with the rest of the gang.

Giles had everyone's full attention, placing his glasses back on he moved to stand in front of them. "I just got off the phone with the Watcher's Council…" he started, only to be interrupted.

"No new big bad is there? Cause you know things have been really quiet since…" Xander started, sounding panicked.

"Ah no, no big bad… a new slayer is on her way to Sunnydale," he quickly blurted out, hearing everyone gasp is shock.

"But Giles Faith…" Willow started to say.

"Is gone, something we need to accept," he reminded her. He watched Tara wrap her arms around her girlfriend, as Willow fought back tears. "I'm sorry Willow, I know we are all still trying to come to terms with losing Faith, but they are worried about leaving the hellmouth unguarded by a slayer and they're right."

"Who is she?" Dawn asked softly.

"Um… her name is Buffy Summers, she has actually been slaying vampires longer than both Kendra and Faith combined," he replied, opening the file that had arrived this morning via a courier. "According to her file, Miss Summers was activated after a slayer in Rome was killed. She was fourteen at the time but before her watcher arrived, her parents were killed by vampires. Buffy survived the attack."

"But she was only a kid how did she survive?" Xander asked, stunned.

"Well, she had been activated by then so she possessed the strength and skills of a slayer, my guess is instinct took over. She was able to dust the two vampires and after that the council stepped in, adopting Buffy and taking her back to England. That is where she trained and slayed for two years. Then, she was ambushed by a group of vampires, thinking she was dead, they dumped her in a river where a local fisherman found her and he was able to revive her."

"What year was that?" Willow asked.

"Ah… 2000 why?"

"That's when Kendra was activated."

"Oh my god, and then Kendra died activating Faith," Dawn gasped.

"Yes, I see." Giles nodded.

"Wait, so this slayer has been going at it for what?... twelve years now?" Spike asked, finally piping up.

"Yes, they tell me she is quiet extraordinary."

"When does she arrive?" Anya asked.

"Soon, her plane should land in a few hours. She was told to report here, I ask you all to please help her to feel welcome, she has had a rough time herself over the years."

Nodding, they still couldn't believe it, a new slayer. One, who had been doing this since the very young age of fourteen? Both Kendra and Faith had been sixteen when they were called, but this girl was younger than both of the other slayers.

Standing, Spike decided he couldn't do this he had to leave. Saying nothing he headed for the door.

"Spike," Dawn called.

"I'm just going to patrol, Bit, you head home with Giles and I'll be there later."

She smiled, nodding but before Spike could leave, Giles was standing next to him.

"I thought you would want to meet Buffy," he spoke softly, wanting their conversation to be private.

"Actually, I don't."

Giles looked almost hurt.

"Look watcher, I'll still help out, do patrols and take care of the bit, but when it comes to this girl… well I'm sick of burring people I care about. First Faith's mom Jenny and now Faith herself… I can't do it again; I know you never believed I truly cared for Faith but…"

"I believe you did."

"Well then, you understand why I can't allow myself to get close to this girl and you always do you know, you don't mean to, try and keep them at a distance but it never works, they work their way inside… I can't I'm sorry," he whispered, before disappearing into the night.

Giles watched him go, seeing a young women come to stand in front of him.

"Rupert Giles?"

"Uh.. Yes, I'm sorry but we are actually closed for the evening, perhaps you could come back tomorrow," he replied, moving to shut the door.

Putting her foot in the way, she smiled.

"I'm not a customer, my name is Buffy, Buffy Summers. I was told to report here," she smiled.

Giles looked stunned, she had arrived early taking him by surprise. For twelve years, this woman had bested everything that stood in her way. ib_**"How?"/b/i**_ his mind asked, she was so small, she was maybe five foot five with long blonde hair draped down her back in golden waves, she wore black leather pants and a skin tight blood red top, she was beautiful but she also wore the scars of a life as the slayer, little ones here and there one on her chest, arm, lip and a clear vampire bite on the left side of her neck. Smiling, he stepped aside ushering her in. Taking a deep breath, he closed the door behind her.


	2. Friend or foe

_iChapter two./i_

_iFriend or foe./i_

Buffy walked into the magic box following her new watcher, looking around she saw a group of people sitting in the centre of the shop around a large table, walking towards them she heard one speak.

"Thank you, god," Xander whispered, looking at the blond following Giles through the shop. She was gorgeous with long blond hair, black leather pants and a skin tight red top "Ouch!" Xander hissed, when he felt his girlfriend, Anya, hit him. Stopping in front of the group, Giles couldn't help but sigh deeply.

"Buffy, this is Willow, her girlfriend Tara, Xander, his girlfriend Anya, and Dawn. Everyone, this is Buffy Summers the slayer."

Buffy couldn't believe her ears, snapping her head towards Giles.

"Um, apparently you don't know the meaning of secret identity," she snapped.

"Oh no, Buffy, these people well they were very close friends with Faith, the other slayer, they helped her when she needed it. You see Willow and Tara are witches, Anya is a thousand year old ex demon and Xander… well Xander helps where he can."

"Hey!" Xander snapped, slightly hurt.

Buffy laughed softly at his reaction.

"So, who is the kid?" Buffy asked, pointing at Dawn.

"So not a kid! I'm sixteen as in teenager" Dawn said, standing up hands crossing over her chest.

"Oh, this is Dawn, Faith's little sister."

"The key," Buffy stated matter-of-factly.

Giles knew he shouldn't be shocked that Buffy knew about Dawn, she had been the slayer for twelve years, after all.

"I was, not anymore though," Dawn whispered thinking of that night that she lost her sister.

Buffy nodded at this.

"Well, it's nice to meet you all but the thing is, I kind of work alone." She could see the hurt look on their faces and instantly felt bad but it was true, she worked better alone in the field. She had learned long ago, that taking humans out with her was a recipe for disaster, a fatal one.

"Look, no offense, I'm sure you guys are great but I have a strict no human policy in the field."

"Oh no, Buffy, Faith was very much the same she rarely let anyone patrolwith her," Giles corrected.

"Yeah, we just helped with research and you know spells and stuff," Willow spoke up.

"Oh, well, cool that's fine." Buffy had never been the research type anyway "Well, I just wanted to drop in meet the new watcher, here is the address of where I'll be staying," Buffy said, passing Giles a piece of paper.

"I know this house it's actually just across the street from Dawn's house, I live there now with Dawn and Spike."

This got Buffy's interest, she knew that name.

"Spike?"

"Uh yes, I'm afraid he couldn't be here tonight and I'm not sure you will see him often either to be honest."

"Are we talking about William the bloody? The Scourge of Europe? Slayer of slayers?"

"Well yes, but he works on the side of good now, he was an ally of Faith's for quite a while."

"But, you know he's still evil so please if you feel the need to slay be our guest." Xander smiled.

"God, Xander, you're a jerk!" Dawn hissed, putting her hands on her hips.

"Dawnie…" he started, only to be cut off by the enraged teen.

"Don't Dawnie me, if it wasn't for Spike you would have been killed more times than I can count this summer you might want to show a little of loyalty and appreciation instead of being such a git all the time," she spat before storming off into the training room.

"A git? Giles she is spending way too much time with that guy."

"Xander, do shut up," Giles snapped.

Xander sat back in his chair almost sulking. Buffy couldn't help but laugh softly.

"Wow, she is a real fire cracker… I like her." Buffy smiled. "Well, I'm off. I'll do a patrol before heading home." She smiled, turning and heading for the door.

"Be sure to check in, in the morning," Giles called.

Turning to face him, she nodded.

"And Buffy, please be careful."

"Always," she smiled, before walking out into the night.

**b2 hours later/b**

Buffy had been patrolling for two hours now, moving from cemetery to cemetery, dark alley to dark alley. It had been a pretty busy night, five demons and after the tenth vampire she had lost count of how many she had dusted, it was clear that word was spreading that the hell mouth was unguarded.

She was here now though, and she knew before the night was out she would have to get the message around Sunnydale that there was a new slayer in town and she was not to be messed with.

She was fighting two vampires at the moment in Restfield cemetery, they would be easy kills she knew that, but this was her chance to send that message before heading home. She had been at them for a bit, beating them back and forth wearing them out so when she knocked them both down it was no surprise that they didn't get up, looking up at her exhausted.

"You two have a chance to live, do you want that chance?"

Looking at each other and then back up at her, they nodded eagerly.

"Good, here is what I want you to do, get the word out, Sunnydale is no longer unprotected, there is a new slayer in town and I'm here to stay, you got that?"

They nodded again, jumping to their feet.

"Good, get out of here," she said watching as they turned and started to flee.

"How many vampires does it take to spread a message, Spike?" she asked, not bothering to turn and face him, she knew he was there she had known for a while.

"One pet," he smiled. She nodded, grabbing the base of her stake lining it up and throwing it at one of the retreating vampires backs, it hit dead on the second vampire stopped only for a second to watch his friends turn to dust before fleeing again.

"So, knew I was there huh?" he asked, watching her turn to face him.

She smiled.

"Have for a while."

"Just wanted to make sure you had everything under control," he explained.

"And it took you over an hour to figure that out?"

He laughed softly, he shouldn't be surprised that she had known he was there the whole time, Giles had said she was good.

"Honestly, I liked watching you dance," he smirked.

She nodded feeling hot tingles spread through her.

"Honesty, nice touch," she laughed softly.

"Listen, I just want to make things clear about me…" he started, but she cut him off.

"Giles told me about you being Faith's ally for a while now, he didn't give me details, though."

"Cliff notes version, there was a military group here a while back that put a chip in my brain that sends pain waves through my brain if I try to hurt anything human. Faith took me in, kept me safe, and helped me get back on my feet. I've been helping ever since."

She nodded .

"But, you can hurt demons, though?"

"Yeah… so, what do you think?"

"About what?"

"Me? Friend or foe?"

"Honestly, undecided."

"Fair enough," he nodded, a little hurt that she didn't trust him but then again, she had no reason to, she didn't know him or the good things he had done, all she probably saw was a vampire, he was probably lucky she hadn't staked him already.

"Giles trusts you so does Dawn, in fact the only one who said I was free to dust you was Xander."

"He would, bloody git, should have let him get eaten this summer," Spike replied, annoyed.

Buffy couldn't help but laugh

"Want to let me in on the joke pet"

"It's just, when Xander said I could dust you Dawn said something similar about him being a git."

"That's my bite size," Spike smiled proudly.

"You care for her a lot," Buffy said, it was more of a statement than a question.

"She's a good kid and she's been through a lot,"

Buffy nodded, the watchers council had told her about the key and Glory and of course. what Faith had done to save her sister. Buffy's heart broke for Faith and for Dawn but she knew if it had been her, she would have done the same thing.

"I'm willing to trust their judgment," she smiled.

Spike looked shocked.

"Really?"

"Yeah, and I'm taking a lot on faith here so I feel I must say this… if you betray me…" Buffy started.

Spike rolled his eyes, knowing where this was going.

"You'll stake me good and proper… yeah, yeah, I have heard that threat before, luv," he sighed.

"Then listen up, because I won't stake you but by the time I'm done with you… you'll be begging me too," she stated seriously, turning and starting to walk away from him.

Spike couldn't help but shutter at how cold her voice had gotten and he didn't doubt for a moment that her threat was actually a promise.

Turning back to face him, she smiled softly. "So, you going to patrol with me or just follow me around hiding behind trees and headstones?"

He laughed softly. "I think I'll just patrol with you," he replied, walking up to her.

She nodded, happy with his answer as they both headed off into the night.


	3. Secrets Revealed

_iChapter 3/i_

_iSecrets revealed/i_

Several weeks had passed since Buffy's arrival in Sunnydale. She had managed to settle into a comfortable routine and it seemed like most of the gang had taken to her well. Giles started a strict but fun training program that took up most of her days whilst her nights were spent patroling with the help of Spike, although she never mentioned it to the rest of the gang that he tagged along.

Dawn had taken a real shine to her, inviting her over to the house for dinner and to watch movies with her. Buffy had even started Dawn into a training program of her own, saying that it was better to be prepared for any and every situation. Dawn had been so excited. She had begged Faith to teach her how to fight numerous times but she had always refused, saying that she didn't need to worry about learning to fight as it was her job to protect her.

Tara had been helping her to get around the Sunnydale University campus, showing her to her classes and hanging out with her during lunch breaks. Over the weeks the two had become quiet close. Xander and Anya had spent time with her too; mostly taking her to the Bronze- the local 'hot spot' she was told- to relax after or before patrols.

In fact the only one she'd hardly spent any time with was Willow. Every time Buffy tried to talk to her Willow would mutter something about being busy and would take off, always with her head in a book. Buffy was worried that Willow saw her as someone who was trying to take her best friends spot in the group and was desperate to reassure her that was not the case at all.

"Willow could we talk?" She asked, standing in front of the red head who was sitting at the round table in the middle of the magic box.

"Actually I'm…" she started, shutting her book and moving to stand.

"Busy… " Buffy smiled sadly. "Yeah I know but this will only take a second, I promise." She watched Willow nervously look around like she was being cornered. "I won't bite." Buffy couldn't help but laugh.

"Sure." Willow sighed, smiling shyly following Buffy into the back training room. Shutting the door so they could be alone, Buffy turned to face Willow.

"Willow, I get the feeling that you don't really like me being here."

"No Buffy it's not that it's just…" Willow started, sighing sadly, unsure of how to finish.

"You miss her."

"Every second." Willow nodded. "She was my best friend for so long and now she's gone and I keep thinking what if I could have done something more? If Tara hadn't been crazy with what Glory did to her," she looked away. "If I wasn't solely focused on that then maybe I could have done more... I could have saved her."

"You can't think like that, Willow. Faith did what she had to, to save Dawn and the world and if she is anything like me she would do it again if she had to."

"I know she would."

"Tara is the love of your life and she needed your help and even though you're a powerful witch you are only one person." Willow nodded, feeling tears burn in her eyes. "I understand the pain you must be feeling… A couple of years ago I died and the people I left behind struggled to move on."

"Giles told me how you drowned."

"Oh no not then." She shook her head and let out a sad laugh, thinking back. "That was a life time ago. I was sixteen that night when I was ambushed and thrown into the river." She met Willows wide eyes. "This was when I was twenty three. I was dead for a couple of months Willow, not minutes." Willow looked up, stunned.

"What? How did you die? How did you come back?" She stuttered, desperate for answers.

"When I was first adopted by the council and taken back to England I was sent to live with my watcher Merrick and his wife Cassandra. His best friend Jeffery was also a watcher and he had a son the same age as me named Pike, we become great friends immediately. It was easy being around him." She smiled at the memories. "He already knew about vampires and watchers and that I was the slayer. When we where fifteen Anna become part of our very small group after I saved her life one night from a group of vampires. I'd seen her around school but we had never talked before but after that the three of us were inseparable. When I died a year later everyone truly started to understand just how dangerous my job was. I thought Pike would stop talking to me, scared of feeling the pain if I was to ever die and you know, stayed that way." Buffy laughed. Willow couldn't help but laugh also.

"Instead he asked me out and we dated for seven years." She took in a deep breath, fighting back tears. "He proposed, I think we started to think I was invincible. W-when a master vampire named Lothos came to town my watcher got really worried, wanted me to stay indoors. I of course refused to put any one in danger by not continuing my nightly patrols but I made sure that Pike and Anna stayed off the streets. I ran into Lothos a few times but it seemed we were very closely matched. O-one night Pike went out and got captured, Lothos sent one of his minions to tell me." Taking a deep breath Buffy tried to continue.

"I knew it was a trap but by then Anna had been studying witchcraft for quite a while, going on six years and I was hoping that with her and Merrick as backup I would be able to save him. I broke through Lothos' defenses and was able to free Pike before I was….overpowered…. I yelled at Anna to run and take Pike to safety. He was injured badly and needed hospital care and I knew if they stayed and tried to save me they would have been killed too. Merrick refused to leave and the last thing I remember seeing before being killed was him trying to save me." She whispered, remembering the man who had been a father to her for ten years fighting to save her life.

"Did he make it?"

"No." She whispered. "I later found out that he had his neck broken." She brushed the tears from her eyes before they could reach her cheeks.

"Buffy I'm so sorry… You knew it was a trap but you still went in there knowing you might not make it out."

"I couldn't leave him there, Will. He was my everything. He'd been there for me through so much, helped me fight demons and vampires, apocalypse after apocalypse. When my adoptive mom Cassandra got sick and passed away he was there through it all, I loved him so much…He was my Dawn." Willow nodded, finally understanding.

"So Anna got him to safety?"

"Yeah he was badly hurt and had lost a lot of blood but she got him to the hospital and he made it" Buffy smiled

"How did you come back though?"

"Anna wouldn't give up. She was determined to bring me back but the council refused to help her, they said the magic's needed were dark and would bring someone back from the dead that was unnatural. They forbade her from doing it but she didn't listen. She found a spell and started collecting the ingredients in secret, not even Pike knew what she had planned and once she found the last Urn of Osiros there was no stopping her. By the time the council realized what she'd been up to it was too late, the spell had been cast and I was back."

"But it all worked out." Willows eyes lit up. "I-I mean you came back fine." Willow argued.

"All magic has consequence, Willow. The forces Anna channeled and the lines she crossed, she was lucky the spell didn't kill her. The magic she used was dark and it changed her. She started doing spells for everything, even the everyday little things. The council started to worry about her, we all did and when a friend of hers was brutally raped she snapped and tracked down the guy that did it and killed him using magic. It didn't take long for the council step in and contact a coven who was able to bind her magic."

"Oh my god." Willow gasped. "What happened to her?"

"The council sent her to the coven for a type of rehab. I visited just before moving here and she's doing well."

"Wow. I mean… wow."

"Yeah."

"Well what happened to the urn?"

"The council took it and hid it," she shrugged. "I'm not sure where."

Willow's mind was racing. There was a way to bring Faith back. She's been looking for months now and finally she had found something. She knew things had gone badly for Anna but she was stronger than that and she knew she could control her magic. All that mattered was that she got Faith back. If she could just hack into the council's database she could find the urn and it wouldn't be hard to find the spell now that she knew something about it.

"Willow, I know you miss Faith and that everything inside you is probably screaming to get her back but before you go making rash decisions, find out where she is first." She brushed a few loose strands away from her face that had fallen loose from her bun and turned to leave. "I would hate for you to make Anna's mistake." She whispered.

"What was Anna's mistake?"

Buffy didn't bother to turn and face her as she replied.

"Thinking that I was in a hell dimension when I was really in heaven." Willow couldn't stop the gasp that escaped her or her muffled 'no' as she watched Buffy leave the training room and back out into the shop.


	4. Unintentionally Involved

_Chapter 4_

_Unintentionally Involved_

Buffy moved from the training room into the main part of the Magic box. She wondered if she had done the right thing by telling Willow how Anna had brought her back, but she knew that she had. Willow needed to hear the truth, that yes there were ways of bringing someone back from the dead, but that it had real and severe consequences, she just hoped that Willow did the right thing with the information, and let Faith rest in peace.

Buffy was jarred from her thoughts when Giles approached her.

"Ah, Buffy, are you ready for your training session?" he asked, looking up from the book he was holding.

"Did we have a training session planned? Cause I thought today was my day off" she asked looking confused.

"Well, no, not planned, but I thought seeing as you are here…" he started to explain, but she quickly cut him off.

"I actually have plans, I promised Dawn we would have lunch together and then go see a movie, if that's okay?"

"Of course, by all means go."

"Are you sure? I could probably cancel"

"Don't be silly, Buffy, you have been training daily since you got here, a day off would do you a world of good, and Dawn could do with a day of fun herself," he said, leading her towards the entrance, only to be stopped short by a blanket covered Spike running in the door. Giles thanked the Gods that there were no customers in the store at the time. Tossing the blanket to the ground, Spike patted himself down to make sure no part of him was on fire.

"Buffy, please don't be alarmed. This is Spike, the ally of Faith's I was telling you about."

She smiled. "Yeah we've met." She laughed. "Hey."

"Hi, luv," he replied, smiling. _**"Could get lost in those eyes and that smile," **_he couldn't help but think. "_**God she's so gorgeous."**_

They at stared at each other a moment longer before Giles cleared his throat, interrupting them.

"How do you know each other?"

"Spike's been patrolling with me pretty much every night since I got here."

"Really?" Giles asked confused.

Spike looked down when the older man looked at him questioningly.

"Yeah, anyway, I have to go. I was meant to meet Dawn ten minutes ago" she said, bouncing past Spike and towards the door. "I'll see you at seven, right, Spike?" she asked, turning back to face him.

"Sure, pet."

She nodded, opening the door and disappearing outside.

Spike stood for a moment longer, feeling Giles' eyes burning into his skin. Looking up, Spike muttered, "don't look at me like that." Then, he turned and headed out to the training room, Giles following closely behind him. Giles watched as Spike took off his duster, he dropped it over a chair, before moving to the boxing bag and began to train.

Spike tried to ignore the fact that Giles was just about burning holes right through him with his intense staring. For a full five minutes he was able to, but it became more then clear that Giles wasn't going to just drop it and leave him be.

Sighing in frustration, he turned to face the annoying watcher. "What?" he snapped.

Giles smirked. "I thought you wanted nothing to do with her?"

"I didn't… I don't… look our meeting, it was an accident."

"I very much doubt that."

"Look, that first night she got here I was out patrolling, I didn't think she would come out the first night but when I saw her heading into the cemetery, I mistook her for some ditz taking a short cut home," he started to explain, turning back to the punching bag, but Giles moved to stand in front of him.

"And?"

"And nothing, I followed her. That's when I realized she was the Slayer. I was going to leave, but she sensed me." Spike knew he was lying, but he figured the watcher didn't need to know the whole truth about him following Buffy for hours that night, he would only read too much into it.

"And then what happened?" he asked curiously.

"We talked, I explained who I was, and she gave me the old Slayer warning." Giles looked confused for a moment. "Betray me and I'll stake you," Spike explained.

"Ah and since then?"

"Well, at first we just kinda bumped into each other, but after a few nights, we started meeting up and patrolling together. I figured four hands are always better than two."

Giles nodded, removing his glasses and giving them a clean. "Well, I suppose you're right, but I have to say I'm a little surprised, you seemed so reluctant to… get involved with another Slayer," Giles said, trying to choose his word carefully.

"Oi! I'm not getting involved with anyone, understand? I'm just helping the bird out," Spike snapped, turning to face him as Giles walked toward the door.

"No, of course." Giles nodded, desperately trying to keep his smirk at bay when he looked up at the annoyed vampire.

"Look, if you would prefer me not to patrol with her, just say the word, Watcher."

"No, no, of course not."

"Good. So, shut your bloody gob about it. Just smile and nod, and be glad I'm out there looking over her shoulder, okay?"

"Okay," Giles said, smiling.

"Good." Spike grunted, turning back to the punching bag and laying into it.

Giles said no more, he simply smiled remembering how Buffy and Spike acted when they were together just minutes before. It was clear that they both liked each other, Giles just hoped this time it worked out for Spike.

He had to admit he had learned to trust the vampire, but he hated to admit that he had grown quite fond of him. It was impossible not to like him, though. He'd done so much for them, it was hard to pretend he wasn't part of the group. Giles knew Spike would never admit it, though, he was always saying he didn't want to be a scoobie. Smiling, Giles turned leaving Spike to take his frustrations out on the poor punching bag.


	5. Accidents will happen

_iChapter 5/i_

_iAccidents will happen./i_

It had been a few weeks since Giles had discovered that Spike was working with Buffy on a nightly basis, he hadn't said much to her about it, only asking from time to time how things were going between them, she would always smile and say things were fine and they were… mostly.

Spike was a great help, it made her nightly patrols a lot easier knowing someone capable was there looking over her shoulder, someone she knew could handle himself, and that she didn't have to worry about him getting hurt like she had with her friends back in London, but there was no denying her attraction to him.

She felt it more every night, every time she saw him her heart rate would pick up, and she would have to try to calm herself before he noticed. Her cheeks would flush and her palms would sweat. She tried her best to act normal, and most nights she succeeded, but sometimes she would fumble and stumble all over her words, and that was usually when she would suggest they split up to cover more ground.

Then the dreams had started, every night a different dream, but one thing was always the same, it was always Spike, kissing her, touching her, pounding into her with a force and power she had never felt before, and the dreams always woke her usually leaving her hot and bothered, and with a painful ache between her thighs, leaving her with no other choice but to finish the job herself. Alone.

She was grateful for the break tonight, Spike had been patrolling with her nightly, and while she appreciated his help, she needed some time alone to think. So, when he had told her he wouldn't be able to patrol with her tonight because Dawn wanted to spend time with him, she had happily said no problem.

Now, she was heading into a nearby cemetery, there had been reports of attacks lately on some local teens and she was determined to put a stop to it, but as she moved into the quiet cemetery a chill ran down her spine. Tt was almost like her entire body was screaming at her to turn around and leave, but she decided to shake it off and continue on. That was when she saw it, no more the ten feet away. It was one of the largest demons she had ever seen, it was at least seven feet tall and huge.

_**ib"Well, the bigger they are the harder they fall,"/b/i **_she thought to herself. _**"Here goes nothing."**_

Smiling, she tried to put on a strong front.

She smirked. "Well, come and get it."

The demon raced for her fast. Buffy slipped a sword from the scythe on her back, side stepping the demon she swung lopping its head off with little to no fuss. Watching its lifeless body stump to the ground before melting into a puddle of goo.

"Well, that was disappointing." She sighed, but before she could replace her sword back into its scythe, it was knocked from her grasp, and a vampire grabbed her from behind. She was about to put up a fight, when she felt something sharp impale her side, gasping as white hot pain shot through her.

"I will not go down so easy," the vampire hissed in her ear.

"Nor will I," she hissed back, grabbing the arms wrapped around her neck and flipping him over her shoulder. Watching him stand, she noticed the knife he had stabbed her with was still imbedded in her side, getting into her fighting stance she prepared to fight.

"We were free of a slayer and then you came along," he spat at her in full game face. She moved quickly, pulling a stake from inside her waist band. "And we will be again, I'll see to that."

"You're pretty confident for someone so stupid."

"What?" he asked confused.

"You don't think I came here alone do you?" She smiled smugly, looking over his shoulder. The vampire turned around, ready to defend himself but there was nothing. He looked around the empty cemetery for a moment, and that was all she needed, moving fast she was behind him in a second thrusting the stake into his back, piecing his unbeating heart.

"As I said stupid," she mocked just before he turned to dust. Looking around, she sighed in relief, it was clear he was alone, and for that she was thankful. One stupid vamp she could handle, but now that she was wounded, she doubted she would fare well with a group of them. Untying her jacket from around her waist, she slipped it on hoping it would hide the knife in her side just till she got home and was able to tend to it, taking one last glance around the empty cemetery, she grabbed her sword and headed home.

Spike stood on Dawn's front porch taking in a much needed break and enjoying a smoke, he loved Dawn to death but if he had to listen to much more about her most recent heartthrob RJ or watch any more Dawson's Creek, he may just have to kill himself. Stubbing out his smoke, he was just about to turn and head back in when he saw Buffy walking up the street heading for her front door.

Something was wrong, he knew the moment he saw her, she was walking with a limp, favoring her left side, she had a look of pain in her eyes and she was back far too early. She had only left an hour ago, and he had come to know that Buffy was never happy to come home from a patrol until she had done at least three sweeps of the town. Popping his head inside, he told Dawn he would be back soon before darting across the street.

Buffy just wanted to get this knife out of her side, have a hot bath and crawl into bed. She was just about to head into the kitchen when someone pounded on her door.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." She sighed, walking back to the door and opening it. "Spike," she gasped in surprise, pulling on her jacket to make sure it was still covering her injury.

"What are you doing here? I thought you and Dawn had a movie night planned."

"We do, I was on the front porch having a much needed break from the craziness of Dawson's Creek, when I saw you come home."

Buffy smiled "Ah Dawson's Creek, sounds… exciting." She laughed, slightly cringing when pain shot through her..

"Are you okay?" Spike asked, clearly concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"Well, for one you're back really early…"

"It was a slow night, so I figured I would come home early," she lied.

"Yeah, I'm not really buying it. You are never satisfied unless you do a minimum of three sweeps."

She shrugged. "So I'm slacking off a bit, no big."

"You were walking with a limp."

"Was I? I didn't notice… maybe there was something in my shoe," she continued to lie.

He was growing impatient and wanted the truth. "I can smell the blood luv, vampire and all." She sighed in defeat. "So, are you going to show me the war wound?" he asked, crossing his hands.

Sighing, she removed the jacket, to show him the knife still firmly imbedded in her side. "Oh my god" he gasped.

"It's really not that bad," she whispered.

Spike leapt into action, starting to walk into the house, only to be pushed back by the invisible force field. It occurred to him then that he had never been to Buffy's house, and therefore had never been invited in.

Buffy looked at him shocked, but she couldn't help but feel bad she saw the confusion on his features, then the realization and the hurt came, he looked around unsure of what to do or say before she spoke.

"Spike…" she started, but he quickly cut her off.

"Um, if you just want to come over to the bit's house I can fix that up for you."

"Come in, Spike." She smiled.

He looked up stunned, before walking over the threshold. "Presto, no barrier" he said, looking at her in awe. They stared at each other a moment longer, before he spoke again. "Um, do you have a first aid kit, luv?"

"Yeah, it's in the kitchen on top of the refrigerator, just through there."

He headed toward where she had pointed, returning a moment later first aid kit in hand. They moved into the living room, taking a seat on the couch. Spike moved in cutting the side of her shirt off so the knife was completely uncovered.

"This place is beautiful. Not to be nosy, but how do you afford it?" he asked, trying to start a conversation in hopes of distracting her.

"My parents were wealthy. My father, Hank, was a lawyer and my mother, Joyce, owned her own art gallery, they died when I was fourteen, and since I was an only child, I got everything." She smiled sadly remembering her parents.

"I'm sorry, luv, I sure know how to put my foot in it," he replied. He couldn't help but feel guilty for bringing it up in the first place.

"It's okay, it happened a long time ago and I've come to terms with it," she whispered, looking down.

Spike took that moment to pull the knife free; she couldn't stop the scream that ripped through her. Spike hissed in pain, grasping his head while placing pressure on the wound.

"Sorry." He cringed, feeling guilty for causing her pain.

"Yeah, me too." She smiled

"I'm fine pet, really." He smiled, starting to clean the wound "Giles said your parents were killed by vampires."

"That's right; my parents did a lot of charity work in New York…. That's where I was born. Anyway, one night these two homeless guys my parents knew from the local shelter showed up at our house hungry, my parents invited them in… I remember watching their faces shift and change into something I had only seen in horror movies and then I watched as they killed my parents," she replied sadly, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, luv."

She shook her head. "It's okay, I mean for a long time I blamed myself because I was scared and hid, but I was just a kid but when I saw my mother dead, her once warm eyes so cold and lifeless and it was like something inside me snapped… I attacked, and before I realized what I was doing they were both dust." She looked him in the eyes. "I don't know how I knew what to do, I just did."

"Well, I'm glad you did" he whispered.

Buffy felt a pull towards him, would it be so bad just to kiss him? Just one little kiss?

Before she could act, he spoke." You're all done." She looked down to see the wound was covered. "It's waterproof, so you can shower with it on," he said, standing.

She nodded, walking him to the door. "Thanks for tonight."

"No problem, but next time, luv, no lying and no secrets. Buffy, I need to know, why you invited me in tonight?" he asked nervously and unsure.

She looked up, seeing the fear of rejection in his eyes. Smiling gently she answered, "Because I trust you. Good night, Spike."

Spike didn't reply, couldn't reply, he just stood there in shock as he watched Buffy shut the door. After a moment, her answer finally sunk in and he couldn't stop the smile forming on his lips as he turned and headed back to Dawn.


	6. Moments like these

_iChapter 6/i_

_iMoments like these./i_

It had been a couple of months since Buffy's close call. Since then Giles had upped her training and insisted that she be accompanied on protrols at all times, at least until she was more familiar with Sunnydale. She had reluctantly agreed.

Spike had been the one with her on most protrols, unless Dawn wanted a night with him and in that case Giles had insisted he accompany her. She had been reluctant at first but in the end caved when it was clear that he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

Thankfully those nights where far and few between.

It's not that she didn't like hanging out with Giles but even with all his years of experience and training she worried. Worrying made her vulnerable. She tried not to but the fact was that she had begun to care about her watcher and the thought of him getting hurt or worse scared her beyond words.

It had become a weekly habit of theirs, after doing a few sweeps of the town Buffy and Spike would return to her house to watch a movie together. They had grown close over the past couple of months and Buffy had found herself deeply in love with him. She knew it was wrong, no matter how good Spike was he was still technically a vampire, the very thing she was born to hunt down and destroy. But no matter how she tired, she couldn't seem to fight it and to be quite honest a large part of her didn't want to. She knew he had done terrible things in his past, she'd read about most of them but when she was with him, when she looked into his eyes all she could see was the good he had done.

So now here they sat, watching another one of Buffy's favourite chick flicks. Spike had said he wanted to watch something full of action, blood and gore but when she had replied that she had enough of that in her real life he had caved. It didn't help when she had looked up at him, her eyes large and green, shinning like emeralds, her lips moist and pouty. He had mostly agreed to her pick in movie because he had, had an overwhelming urge to kiss her. The movie was almost over when Buffy stood from her spot next to him, moving for the kitchen again.

"Hey, where you off to?" Spike asked. Turning to face him Buffy raised the empty bowl in her hand.

"Refill. You want anything? I'm pretty sure there's more blood in the fridge." He couldn't believe she had actually bothered to go out and buy him blood, let alone be so calm and not disgusted in the slightest, warming it for him or even watching him drink it.

When she had given him a glass when they'd first arrived he had attempted to go into a different room to drink it but she had been quick to stop him, saying he was being ridiculous. Everyone had to eat, even him and as long as he wasn't draining a human she didn't care that he drank blood, she accepted that part of him.

He almost didn't believe his own ears. As much as he had cared for Faith he knew that she would never be able to accept that part of him, his past, the things he had done even the fact that he was a vampire. She had never been able to be in the same room while he drank blood and when he had she would leave, a look of disgust on her face.

She had told him once that while she did have feelings for him it wasn't love and that it never could be. He remembered her words so clearly ib_**"**__**I have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for it to be love."/b/i **_He had been crushed. He cared for Faith deeply, true he wasn't in love with her but he knew it could have been. But now Buffy knowing what he was, the things he had done and already admitting that she trusted him and accepted his vampire side and past, he couldn't help but feel his heart swell.

"No I'm fine thanks, luv." He smiled as she walked off, he could hear her making more popcorn and couldn't help but laugh.

"What's so funny?" She called out.

"I'm just wondering where you fit all that food in that stick figure body of yours."

"Hey!" She laughed, coming back popcorn in hand. "Stick figure?" She asked, one hand on her hip and watching with a raised eyebrow as he stood from his seat laughing slightly.

"You know you're gorgeous, pet." He smiled, still slightly laughing but Buffy just stared at him, surprised.

"You think I'm gorgeous?" She whispered, this made Spike stop laughing as he looked at her.

"You know you are." He whispered, his voice coming out huskier then he had planned. They stared at each other a moment longer before Spike cleared his throat, breaking the silence.

"Movies finished, luv. What do you want to watch now?"

"Um…" she started moving across the room but before she realized what had happened she was falling, having tripped over a corner of the rug. The bowl fell from her hand just as Spike moved to catch her but was seconds to late, together they landed on the floor with a thud. Buffy couldn't help but giggle, soon Spike was laughing with her.

After a few moments they stopped staring at each other. Looking into each other's eyes Buffy felt her heart rate pick up, she tried to calm it but failed. Looking down at their position she sent him a smile.

"You're starting to crush me." She laughed.

"Sorry about that." He replied but still made no attempt to move. He leaned down to pick a few stray pieces of popcorn from her hair, making her smile as he threw it aside. Once done he brushed the hair from her face, she saw it then and almost screamed in delight as he moved forward, capturing her lips with his own.

She moaned at the contact, parting her lips she felt his tongue slip in kissing her passionately. It had started out slow and sweet but soon things picked up becoming urgent, full of heat and passion. She felt his hardened length pressing into her jean covered centre and pushed up against him, desperately trying to cause some friction in hopes of dulling the now painful ache between her thighs. Spike pulled away allowing her to breathe, placing wet kisses down her neck.

"Oh god Spike, I want you." She groaned, instantly regretting having spoken when she felt him tense up above her. Her words snapped Spike back to reality, making him realize what he was about to do. Being attracted and involved with a slayer just lead to badness.

Quickly pulling away he stood to his feet, running a shaky hand through his messy curls.

"Spike…" Buffy started, pushing up on her hands to look up at him.

"I-I'm sorry but I have to go." He quickly answered, moving so fast she didn't see him until he was grabbing his leather duster from the coat rack and all but running out the front door leaving a stunned and frustrated Buffy behind.


	7. Alone

_iChapter 7/i_

_iAlone./i_

Buffy knew she was being childish the moment she had decided to sneak off early. She had promised to meet Spike at her house for their usual nightly protrols but after the events of the night before she just wasn't up for an awkward night of silence, so just before the sun had gone down she had slipped out, deciding to break their routine and start with the cemeteries instead of down near the docks.

The sun had gone down almost an hour ago and Buffy thought she was in the clear for the night, that Spike had gone to her place, realized she was gone and had simply called it a night.

_**ib"Yeah right!"/b/i **_She couldn't help but think.

She felt him long before she smelt the Spike combination of cigarette, whisky and leather, the tingle at the back of her neck a tell tale sign that a vampire was near. She had gotten so close to him over the months that she could actually tell the difference between him and all the others.

"I thought you'd out grown your stalker phase?" She spoke loudly into the quiet cemetery, stopping but not bothering to turn to face him. He smiled, stepping out from behind a nearby tree.

"Well I thought we agreed to meet at your place at seven." He replied, moving in front of her.

"I got tired of waiting." She replied coldly, not looking at him as she started walking.

"Really? 'Cause I wasn't running late, in fact I was fifthteen minutes early." He snapped, stepping in front of her once more effectively forcing her to stop.

"Well you must have just missed me." She lied, finally looking up at him. She could see his anger and the concern in his eyes and couldn't help but feel guilty that she had made him worry.

"If you're going to lie Buffy at least try to lie better!" He snapped. "Dawn told me you left before sundown." She sighed, knowing she was busted. "I was worried, Buffy. What if something happened to you out here? Don't you remember what happened last time you patrolled alone?" He hissed, his temper getting the best of him.

"Yes, I remember but I'm not a child that needs babysitting, Spike. I'm the slayer, have been for over twelve years. I can handle myself!" She spat.

"What, like you handled yourself in London the night you got both you and your watcher killed?" Spike regretted his words instantly. He knew what he had said was low but when she looked up at him, her eyes wet with tears and face red with rage, he managed to feel even worse.

"Go to hell Spike!" She hissed, pushing past him and almost knocking him off his feet.

"Buffy wait!" He called but she refused to stop. Spike raced to catch her and grabbed her by the arm, turning her to face him he was met with a fist to the face. The force of the punch knocked him off his feet.

He wiped the blood from his lip before standing to face her.

"Okay, I deserved that." He nodded.

"Yeah you did!" She snapped.

"Look luv I'm sorry for what I said. I was wrong and out of line." He met her eyes. "It's just, I worry about you. I don't want to see you hurt. I know you can handle yourself but please just let me help okay." He let out a sigh. "Four eyes are better then two." He smiled.

"Whatever." She replied, moving again. They walked in silence for almost an hour, only running into the occasional vampire before Buffy couldn't take anymore.

"Look, maybe you should call it a night it's been pretty slow." She sighed, turning to face him.

"Its fine. I don't mind hanging around." He shrugged.

"Well I do!" She snapped. " Look, you're going to have to trust me alone sooner or later and what better time to start than when I want to be alone."

"Pet, I'm getting the feeling you're trying to ditch me."

"Only just then... Apparently I'm not being clear enough." She sighed before looking into his eyes. "Go home Spike."

"Fine! I know when I'm not wanted." He snapped.

"Finally." she replied sarcastically.

"Be that way then."

"I will."

"Fine."

"Fine." She said, standing there for a moment, neither making a move before Buffy spoke again. "Well?"

"What?" He asked, slightly confused.

"I thought you were leaving?"

"I am."

"Good." She said, turning and making a move to walk away.

"Why don't you just tell me what's bothering you?" He called out. She turned to face him annoyed.

"Nothing is bothering me." She snapped but he was unsatisfied with that answer, walking up to her.

"Bullocks! You've been acting like a child ever since I showed up."

"I've been acting like a child? What about you last night? One minute you're kissing me and the next you're running from my house like a shy little virgin whose afraid I'm going to steal his virtue."

Spike let out a sigh. He should have know that the night before would come up, hell he had pushed the subject but still he was afraid.

"Buffy…" He started but she quickly cut him off.

"Forget it Spike, I don't want to hear it!" She snapped, turning to leave again.

"Buffy it's not what you think!" He called out.

She turned to face him, scared of his rejection and the humiliation that came with it but hoping that maybe she had gotten it all wrong.

"Then what is it Spike?" She sighed, taking a seat on a nearby headstone, watching as he paced in front of her.

"I've been on this earth well over a hundred years and in that time I've lost so many people-" he met her eyes. "people I cared about deeply. My parents, friends, Drusilla, Jenny, Faith, so much lost. So much heartache it makes it so hard to get close to anyone else." He said before deciding he needed to be completely honest with her if he wanted her to truly understand,

"I spent a hundred years with Drusilla before she left me. I was crushed," he sighed. "she was my everything. She made me and I was certain I would never trust another women again and then I came here and met Jenny and Faith and before I knew it they had captured my heart. Jenny was like a second mom to me I loved her and when she died I felt something inside me died with her. I experienced a whole new level of pain I never knew existed and then Faith died and for a very long time I felt like I had failed her. I cared about her so deeply and I promised myself I would never allow myself to feel that way for anyone again."

"Did you love her?" Buffy whispered, almost fearing the answer.

"No but my feelings ran very deep." She nodded in understanding before he continued. "When Giles told me you where coming to Sunnydale I told him I wanted nothing to do with you."

"Why?" She asked, slightly hurt.

"Because I was scared of getting close to someone again. I was never really close to the scooby gang as they call themselves but after Faith died I had to fight by their sides to keep this town and them safe and I got close. I connected with them and now I think of how one day I'll have to watch them leave or worse die and it scares the hell out of me."He spoke honestly.

"You blew into my life and took me completely by surprise, I tried to keep you at a distance but somehow you worked your way in here." He whispered placing a hand over his heart. "But there is a line that I have to draw even if every part of me doesn't want to. What would happen if I allowed myself to fall in love with you? It would be so easy but so painful and the day would come when you would die saving me or the world and you'd feel like you could no longer trust me."

"I will always trust you." She whispered tears in her eyes.

"You wouldn't if the chip stopped working. You would always worry what I was doing when I wasn't with you and eventually you'd leave. You've decided you cant trust me and my heart can't take another loss, not now… I'm sorry Buffy." He whispered before turning and leaving her alone.


	8. Too little too late

_iChapter 8/i_

_iToo little too late./i_

Buffy wasn't sure what to do, Spike had left her alone in the cemetery over an hour ago and still she'd made no attempt to move. She was surprised that he had been so completely honest with her about why he couldn't be with her. She had thought for sure it was because he didn't have feelings for her but now she knew it was because he b**did/b **and that scared the hell out of him.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Buffy began the long walk out of the cemetery and headed straight for home. As she walked up the footpath that lead to her house she felt it, that familiar tingle that told her Spike was nearby.

She stopped but didn't turn.

"I thought we covered the whole stalker thing?"

He walked towards her, hands in his pockets and as she turned to face him she noticed how nervous he looked.

"How do you always know it's me thats near and not another vampire?"

"I can feel you. You're different than the others." She whispered, looking at the ground. His head shot up, his eyes quizzical. If his heart beat it probably would have pounded right out of his chest at that moment.

"I just wanted to make sure you got home safely." He replied, she looked up at him trying her best to act normal.

"Well here I am. Home safe and sound." She smiled, holding her arms out.

"I'll leave you to it then." He said quietly as he turned to leave.

"Spike, wait!" She called, moving towards him as he turned back to face her. "There's something I want to tell you."

"What's that luv?"

"You where totally honest with me tonight and I'd like to be with you too, so maybe you could come in? I can make you some hot coco?" She asked, hopeful.

He nodded and followed Buffy inside. After dropping her keys on the bench she set about quickly making them both a hot coco before they moved into the lounge room. Taking a seat across from each other, she took a small sip of her drink before placing it down on the coffee table before she spoke.

"I was fourteen when I found out I was the slayer." She met his eyes and continued. "My parents had just been killed and I was devastated but with the funeral and packing up the house, I never really got the chance to grieve." She took a deep breath. "And then I moved to London and began my training and a part of me feels like I never truly got to say goodbye to them but then I met Pike and Anna and they helped me through a lot." Her eyes started to well up at the past.

"When I was sixteen Pike and I started dating, his father was a watcher so he knew about me being the slayer and he was so supportive, it was so easy to fall in love with him and when I turned twenty one he asked me to marry him I didn't hesitate in saying yes. I mean we both knew my job had its risks but I think he started to believe that I was invincible. Hell, I think even I did but it wasn't until two years later that he discovered I wasn't." The last part came out in a mere whisper and without his vampire hearing he may not have heard it.

"The night your watcher was killed?" He asked.

"Yeah." She sighed before continuing. "I'd told Pike and Anna to stay indoors because a powerful group of vampires had been causing trouble for me but Pike went out looking for me one night and got captured. I was told to come to their warehouse or they would kill him."

"You had to know it was a trap-"

"Of course I knew! But I loved him and I was willing to die to save him." A tear ran down her cheek. "So I went. I was hoping that with Anna and my watchers help I might be able to get out alive but once I got Pike untied I was overpowered. I told them to run but my watcher refused. The last thing I remember was him trying to save me. A few months later Anna brought me back using forbidden magic's, thinking that I was in some sort of hell dimension. I was so angry with her." She glanced down and wiped a few of her fallen tears away. "I felt so betrayed."

"Buffy-"

"I was in heaven."

"Buffy, I-" She quickly cut him off, knowing if she stopped now she would never finish.

"Pike tried to reach out to me but I was damaged... Being ripped away from-" she whispered.

"I started taking my anger out on him." She met his eyes. "I called off the wedding, I was cruel to him but when I got physical with him I realized what I was doing was wrong. I told him the truth about where I had been and how I was feeling and he helped me through a lot. He helped me heal and I fell even more in love with him but I could never bring myself to tell Anna the truth, she slowly spiraled out of control. The magic had consumed her and when she killed a man for revenge using magic the council stepped in. They got a coven to bind her powers and she was sent there to do a type of rehab." She took another deep breath.

"After that things calmed down a bit, Pike and I set a date for the wedding and I was truly starting to feel happy again," she let out a laugh. "I should have known then something was going to go wrong. I'd not long turned twenty five, we were to be married in four weeks when Pike was attacked walking from his work to his car."

"They killed him?"

"Worse." She whispered and met his eyes. "They turned him, I had no idea of course, he showed up at my house the next night and I invited him in and he attacked me. I was so caught off guard that he actually got a taste." She said, placing her hand over the healed bite marks on the left side of her neck.

Spike couldn't stop himself from moving to touch the bite mark with his fingertips, causing shivers to run through her before he stepped back.

"I was able to fight him off but I couldn't bring myself to kill him. We fought for what felt like hours but there where moments when he was himself and then he was just an animal again. I finally pinned him to a wall but I hesitated. I knew if I didn't finish it he would kill me and I think I would have preferred that but he looked at he with his human face and I know it sounds impossible but it was him again," she looked down. "even if it was just for a few moments."

"Not impossible luv."

"He begged me to finish it. He said he didn't want to hurt anyone, least of all me. So I kissed him and I told him I loved him and then I killed him." A sob escaped her and she ram a shaky hand across her cheeks, wiping away the tears.

"I'm so sorry, luv."

"The next day was the hardest, having to take his ashes to his father and tell him what had happened. He was absolutely devastated. His wife had died the year before in a car accident and now his only son was dead. I think a part of him blamed me, I know I did… After that I just couldn't stay in London anymore, there were just too many painful memories so when the council told me about Sunnydale and what had happened to Faith I knew this was where I needed to be. I went to Anna and told her I was leaving and that I wouldn't be coming back. That was about eight months ago so believe me I know all about loss, pain, the fear of losing someone you care about... I just wanted to be totally honest with you like you where with me."

"I'm so sorry pet, that you had to go through all of that alone." Buffy nodded, wiping her tears away.

He took a few hesitant steps forward and pulled her close, rubbing soothing circles into her back as she cried into his shirt. He felt his heart break for her. she had been through so much, lost so much and he felt like all he was doing was causing her more pain by being a scared coward. Would it be so bad to allow himself to love her? He pulled back wiping the tears from her checks and knew then in that moment, when her eyes meet his, that it was too late, he was already in love with her.

"Oh god, it's too late." He whispered.

"What's too late?" She asked, slightly confused.

He wanted to speak but no words would come out so he settled for the next best thing. Leaning down, he placed his lips over hers. The kiss was gentle as he tried to relay all the love he felt inside himself for her, she kissed him back eagerly before pulling away for a moment.

"You're not going to run off again are you?" She asked, concerned.

"No, never again." He relied in a husky voice before crashing his lips onto hers again. His hand moved up to cup her breast but his movements where stilled by a loud banging on the front door.

"Ignore it." He groaned, his hands roaming her hips as he moved back in to kiss her again.

"I can't." She laughed, pushing him away and moving for the door. "It's three clock in the morning, it might be an emergency."

"It bloody better be." He grumbled making her giggle as she opened the door to a pale and wide eyed Dawn.

"Dawn, sweetie... is everything okay?" She asked, concerned.

"No! S-Spike, we have to go find Spike." She replied sounding panicked. Hearing the distress in Dawns voice, Spike walked to the door.

"I'm here bit, what's wrong?"

"Why are you here at three in the morning?" She asked, shocked.

"Could ask you the same thing." He replied, one eyebrow raised.

"Right of course! Quick come with me!" She yelled as she ran across the street and into her house. Buffy and Spike quickly followed, moving past Giles, Xander and Anya to see…. _**"Faith" **_Spike's mind screamed.

Faith was here, sitting next to Willow. A very not dead Faith who was brushing the dirt from her clothes, her knuckles were bleeding and she was clearly shaken.

Spike's eyes narrowed, looking directly at Willow with rage in his eyes.

"What have you done?"


	9. Power corrupts

i_Chapter 9_/i

i_Power corrupts_/i

b**Buffy and Spike quickly followed, moving past Giles, Xander and Anya to see…. **i_**"Faith"/i **_**Spike's mind screamed. **

**Faith was here, sitting next to Willow. A very not dead Faith who was brushing the dirt from her clothes, her knuckles were bleeding and she was clearly shaken**./b

b**Spike's eyes narrowed, looking directly at Willow with rage in his eyes**.**/**b

b**"What have you done?"**/b

"I did what I had to! What no one else could." Willow hissed at Spike, outraged that he would dare question her after what she had just done for all of them.

"Oh, there are others in this world who can do what you did! You just don't want to meet them." Buffy snapped stepping forward.

"No, probably not, but ... well, they're the bad guys. I'm not a bad guy. I brought Faith back into this world, a-and maybe the word you should be looking for is congratulations."

"Do you have any idea what you've done? The forces you've harnessed, the lines you've crossed? You're a very stupid girl." Buffy growled. "I wouldn't congratulate you if you jumped off a cliff and happened to survive, so why would you think this warrants a congratulations?"

Willow stood there stunned to stunned to even say a word and before she got a chance Buffy began speaking again.

"I confinded in you. I was completely honest with you, hoping that you would realize what a b**huge**/b mistake it would be to do this." She hissed, pointing at Faith who was yet to even look at any of them let alone speak a single word.

"I had no choice." Willow sighed.

"There is always a choice!" Buffy screamed in rage at Willow's ignorance and stupidity.

"I couldn't leave her there, she was counting on me to save her." Willow yelled back.

"Save her from what? Peace, Comfort and love? You haven't saved her, you've damned her."

"You might not have been in hell Buffy but that doesn't mean Faith wasn't!" She spat.

"She was a warrior of good. She sacrificed everything, her very life to save an innocent and the world, what god do you think would allow her to rot in hell?"

"We saw her…. She fell through the portal to a hell demention."

"Yes but her body came out the other side."

"But her soul didn't." Willow argued.

"Willow her soul didn't pass through the portal, it moved on. The power in the portal killed her, it didn't teleport her and you know it."

"No I didn't and I couldn't take that risk."

"Did you even bother to listen to a single thing I said to you that day in the training room? Even one word? Did you bother to find out b**for sure**/b where she was?"

"I didn't need to, besides this has nothing to do with you. You weren't even there."

"If I had been, I'd have bloody well stopped you. The magicks you channeled are more ferocious and primal than anything you can hope to understand, and you are lucky to be alive, you rank, arrogant amateur!" Buffy yelled, moving so she was right in Willow's face; Willow looked up red faced with rage, moving to step even closer to Buffy.

"The magicks I used are very powerful. I'm very powerful. And maybe it's not such a good idea for you to piss me off." She hissed, glaring at Buffy. Buffy couldn't help but smirk, she almost felt like she was arguing with Anna and she knew Willow was already being corrupted but the power she had harnessed.

"Oh please, take your best shot." She couldn't help but smile, it was then that Giles stepped in pushing them apart.

"Alright that's quite enough!"

Buffy stepped back, looking over at Faith who was rocking gently, tears running down her cheeks, hands and knuckles bleeding. Buffy sighed, she had seen that kind on injury before on her very own hands.

"Her hands are bleeding." Buffy whispered.

"They were like that when we found her, we don't know how it happened." Xander replied.

"I do. Crawled her way out of her own coffin, isn't that right?" Faith looked up slowly and met Buffy's eyes, unsure before replying.

"Yes, I had to do that." She whispered.

"Had to do it myself before."

"We didn't know." Willow chimed in.

"What? Did you think she was just going to magically pop up in front of you?" Buffy snapped sarcastically, Willow looked down ashamed.

"Im so sorry Faith I know this is all confusing and scary, I understand." Buffy whispered, sitting in front of her. Faith looked up fresh tears in her eyes.

"Where am I? How did I get here?" She whispered, clearly confused.

"You're home Faith, back in Sunnydale." Willow smiled, stepping forward.

"Oh god I'm being punished." Faith whispered, shaking all over. Buffy wanted to cry for her knowing what she was feeling, what she was thinking.

"No Faith you're not being punished. I did a spell you see to bring you back to life." Faith looked up, tears now mixed in with rage. Buffy knew what was about to come and stood, taking a few steps back.

"How dare you! Who gave you the right?" She yelled, standing on her still wobberly legs. Willow reeled back, shocked at Faith's outburst.

"But I saved you from hell. I-I thought you would be happy-" She replied, confused.

"I was happy… Wherever I ... was ... I was happy. At peace. I was warm ... and I was loved ... and I was finished. Complete. I think I was in heaven and you ripped me out of there, I will b**NEVER/b** forgive you for that!" She hissed, before running from their presence and up to her room.

"Oh yeah, good job." Buffy spat.

"Buffy that's enough!" Spike spoke for the first time.

"Yeah, you're right. It is." Turning to leave, she headed for the front door and stopped, turning to face them. "You know, I hope you're all ready for this because if she reacts in any way close to how I did you're in for a hell of a ride," She met Giles' eyes. "I'd be keeping a b **VERY** /b close eye on that one." She said, pointing at Willow.

"Why?" Dawn asked, confused.

"Power corrupts..." Her eyes watered as she met Spikes gaze. "I learnt that the hard way." She said thinking of poor Anna her best friend who in the end became the enemy. She turned before anyone could reply and walked outside, slamming the door behind her.


	10. Missing you

_Chapter 10_

_Missing you._

**One month later.**

It had been a month since Faith's return from the grave and aside from their brief talk on the night of her return, Buffy had not seen her since. She knew Faith would be struggling with her return and the tension with her friends and decided it would be best to keep her distance for the time being.

She knew she would have to drop in and see her soon though, even if only to discuss the patrolling arrangements. But until then Buffy had kept doing what she had for the past few months, going to uni, patrolling nightly, meeting up with Dawn every Saturday for ice cream and movies and of course her training with Giles.

She missed Spike, though she had only seen him a few times in the last month and then only for a few minutes. They usually bumped into one another at the Magic box. He had explained that Faith was having a hard time adjusting and so he was spending most of his time looking after Dawn and helping around the house. Buffy understood of course, she just wished they could spend more time together.

She was broken from her thoughts when she spotted a young woman being tossed to the ground by a vampire. Taking off, she pulled a stake from her pocket. Jumping over a headstone, she plunged the stake home watching as the vampire turned to dust.: 'When she moved to help the woman to her feet, she noticed that it was Faith'.

"Faith!" she said, shocked. Faith was a slayer and according to the watchers' diaries, and a damn good one. She couldn't help but wonder how a slayer with her strength and talent was overpowered so easily by one vamp.

"You must be Buffy" she replied dusting herself off "Thanks for the hand"

"Anytime" Buffy smiled. "I was going to drop around to meet you officially and maybe discuss a possible patrolling arrangement," Buffy said, walking along side Faith.

"Great what did you have in mind?" Faith asked sounding indifferent. Buffy couldn't help but notice just how drawn out and tired Faith both looked and sounded.

"Well the way Giles tells it you can pretty much hold your own so I figure there is no point in us both being out here every night so maybe one night on one night off?" Buffy suggested.

"Sure" Faith shrugged.

"But if you're not up for it I can handle patrols for a while" Faith stopped, turning to face the other slayer. She knew Buffy was only trying to help but she couldn't stop the rage that started to boil to the surface.

"I can handle my end of the responsibility just fine, got it?" Faith spat at her. Turning to walk again, Buffy quickly walked after her. "Look I'm not saying you can't, I just want to help. I know what this feel like Faith, I understand the anger and uncertainty. I went through it too when I was brought back." This made Faith stop in her tracks, turning to face Buffy once more.

"What?" she asked shocked.

"Willow or Giles didn't tell you?"

"Willow and I are… we're not really talking at the moment." Buffy nodded in understanding. Even though Anna never knew Buffy was in heaven, it had taken her months before she could ever look the women in the eyes again and even then their relationship had forever been strained. "And Giles has been great but… I don't know I just…. I'm finding it hard to be around any of them for a long period of time," she confessed.

"I understand it took me a while too before I could stand to be alone with my friend Anna after what she did"

"What happened? To you I mean."

"Long story short, my boyfriend at the time Pike was taken by a gang of pretty powerful vampires. I went in to save him and never came back out."

"And Pike?"

"Him I was able to save at the cost of my own life. Three months later Anne my best friend who also happened to be a witch did a spell to bring me back… I had also been in heaven, things were never the same between us again"

"I'm sorry"

"Yeah me too, about you I mean" Faith smiled nodding

"Look I have been out here a while now why don't you head home take the night off. You're injured anyway, you should patch that up." Buffy said pointing to her head. Faith wiped her brow looking at the blood now on her hand.

"I hadn't noticed"

"Do you want me to walk you home?"

"Nah I'm five by five, see you around." Faith smiled heading out of the cemetery. Buffy stood for a moment watching her leave, wondering what the hell five by five meant before shaking the slight confusion off and heading further into the cemetery.

Buffy had been patrolling for an hour since her run in with Faith when she heard growling. Taking a spot behind some shrubs she moved closer to see if it was friend, foe or victim. That's when she saw him, the object of her thoughts. Spike stood looking around the dark cemetery. Just then a wicked idea popped into her mind and smiling, she moved closer.

"Here demons…. What do I have to do to get a little violence around here?" Spike sighed, sounding beyond bored. Just then he was tackled from behind. Flipping his attacker, he straddled her waist and was seconds from plunging his stake down when he noticed a smiling Buffy under him. He sighed as she tried to contain her giggles.

"If you wanted to be on top all you had to do was ask." She smiled wickedly at him. He shook his head, laughing slightly before helping her to her feet.

"I could have killed you," he sighed, trying to sound annoyed but failing miserably.

"But you didn't." She smiled, brushing the grass off her clothes. He knew he couldn't stay mad at her especially when she smiled like that. It was then that it occurred to him that she had got the drop on him. True she was a slayer, it was her job to be able to get the drop on big bads, but usually he could feel her presence long before he even saw her.

It had been a month since they had really had any time alone together, he had been neglecting her. He knew Faith needed his help but so did Buffy, they had been getting so close. Before Faith's return he had realized that he was in love with Buffy and he knew he needed to start making more time for her, for them. God knows he missed her. He missed her smile, her laugh, the way she would chew her bottom lip when she was nervous, but most of all he missed just being near her.

"You wanna come to my place tomorrow night? We can watch a flick together and just catch up"

"I'd like that." She smiled. "Help me patrol?" He nodded, excited about being with her tonight and all of tomorrow night. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so giddy inside about being near someone. He knew Buffy was it for him, he just wasn't sure how to tell her and he prayed that she felt just as strongly for him as he did for her.


	11. Seeking solace

i_Chapter 11_/i

i_Seeking solace_/i

Buffy looked at the piece of paper in her hand. Dawn had given it to her that morning saying Spike had asked her to pass it on. Looking up at the apartment building she wondered why he had wanted her to meet him here.

Moving inside she headed upstairs. She stopped at door four and stuffing the paper back in her pocket, she knocked. Spike swung the door open, greeting her with a smile before letting her in. She was surprised when she walked inside to find the apartment beautifully decked out.

"Wow, nice place, whose is it?" she asked, curious.

"Mine." He smiled.

She turned to look at him, surprised. "Since when?"

"Just after Faith's return. I had a minion of Dru's show up asking if I could meet with her."

"Dru, your ex?" she asked, stunned.

"Yeah, so I figured I should see what she wanted. Turns out she wanted to settle our finances. We had a joint account together. I thought for sure she would keep it all for herself but she split it with me," he explained moving into the kitchen and stirring what looked like a saucepan of milk.

"Wow"

"Yeah. Surprised the hell out of me, so after that I decided I should buy my own place and here it is," he replied, pouring two mugs of hot cocoa before dropping a little marshmallow in both and passing one to her.

"Thanks" she smiled taking a sip before placing her cup down.

"Buffy I wanted to say I'm sorry," he said, moving around the counter to stand in front of her.

"For what?"

"I know I haven't been around much lately."

"It's fine Spike, I understand," she replied.

"I know you do, but that doesn't make it okay luv. Faith is having a hard time and with her not willing to talk to her friends just yet, I feel as if I should be there for her to help her out," he tried his best to explain.

"You care about her," she whispered. A statement more than a question.

"I worry about her. There's a difference. But mostly I worry about Dawn, it's almost like Faith has forgotten she even exists," he said his brow creased with concern.

"Spike she was ripped out of heaven. You have no idea how scary and confusing that is, you just need to give her some time and you can't do everything for her. I know you think you're helping her, but in the end you will be crippling her."

Spike looked up, surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Faith needs to learn to stand on her own two feet again and she never will if you are always doing everything for her. I'm not saying don't help out, I'm just saying let her do a few things for herself."

Spike nodded, knowing she was right, Faith was a strong, capable, amazing slayer. She just needed to remember that.

b**Two days later**/b

Spike walked across the cemetery like a man with a purpose, a bag of DVD's in one hand Chinese food in the other. He headed towards Buffy's house where he had arranged to meet her for another movie night.

Two nights before, after their talk about Faith, they had spent the rest of the night talking and laughing, enjoying their time together, and he honestly couldn't wait to be near her again. Picking up the pace he had almost reached the cemetery gate when Faith stepped around the corner of a mausoleum.

"Spike did you come to give me a hand?" she asked, looking at the shopping bags in his hands, slightly confused.

"Ah. Actually no, I was just headed to Buffy's place," he informed her, moving past her only to stop at her next words.

"Well, didn't take you long did it?" she spat.

Turning to face her again, he placed the shopping bags down in preparation for the fight he knew was coming. "And what the bloody hell is that suppose to mean?"

"It wasn't too long ago you were begging me for a chance, telling me how much you loved me," she hissed at him. "Now Slutty the vampire layer shows up and it turns out I'm old news."

"Bite your tongue about her. You may not like the attention I'm showing her but she's been nothing but nice to you. And just so we are clear, I b**never**/b, not once, said I was in love with you," he hissed, moving to stand right in front of her.

"Oh right you never wanted me?"

"I didn't say that. Of course I wanted you. I cared about you, worried about you. I still do luv, just not like that," he tried his best to explain to her, not wanting to hurt her.

"And how would that be?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"How you want it to be." He saw her face become red with rage knowing he had hit the mark with his comment. There was a time he would have done anything to know Faith wanted him, but that time had been and gone.

"I want nothing from you, do you hear me b**NOTHING!**/i," she all but yelled with rage. How dare he talk to her like this? How dare he turn her down? She felt everything boil to the surface, everything her friends had done, everything she had lost. The betrayal, the fear, the hurt, the pain, and most of all, the undeniable rage all spewed out at the same moment. Punching Spike hard she watched him smash through the door of the mausoleum. She didn't allow herself to think as she ran in, straddling his waist and continuing her assault.

"You don't have a soul; you could never understand what I'm feeling. There is nothing good or clean in you, you are dead inside! You can't feel anything real!" she yelled as she brought her fist down onto his face several times.

Spike could feel her punches starting to weaken as she finally stopped, her yells turning into sobs. He hugged her close to his chest, hoping it would offer her some kind of comfort.

"It's okay luv, everything is going to be okay," he whispered into her hair as she sobbed into his chest, but when he looked up at her face stained with tears and her eyes red and puffy, he felt his heart break for her. When she moved forward placing her soft lips on his, he pulled back.

"Faith..." he started, but she quickly stopped him, her voice pleading.

"Please Spike. I need this, if only for tonight," she begged. Her eyes were too vulnerable. He knew he should Put an end to this before it went to far but he felt something inside him break and when she leaned in to kiss him and started unbuttoning his shirt, he did nothing to stop her.

Spike woke to the sound of birds chirping. He knew it was morning long before he opened his eyes, then he felt the events of the night before crash into him like a tidal wave. What had he done? Sitting up he kept his duster from slipping off his naked form. He could see Faith standing, now dressed, near the mausoleum entrance.

"Faith," he said softly.

"It can never happen again," she whispered, not bothering to turn and face him.

"I know," he replied, standing to quickly dress. "It never should have happened at all," he said before he could stop himself. He saw her back tense for a moment before she turned to face him.

"I'm glad it did," she said, walking to him and placing a kiss on his cheek before stepping back. "You were there for me when I truly needed you. I'll never forget that but... no one has to know," she whispered, looking down unsure. He knew she meant Buffy more than her friends.

Lifting her chin, he forced her to look at him. "Thank you," he smiled.

"Do you want me to stay?"

"No I'll be fine. My place isn't far from here and I have my coat," he replied, pointing at his duster that now lay on the floor.

She nodded before moving to the entrance again. "Goodbye Spike," she whispered before heading out, leaving him alone.

Grabbing his duster, he headed for the entrance preparing for the mad dash home, hoping above all else that Buffy never found out, and if she did that she would be able to forgive him.


	12. Deadly situations

i_Chapter 12_/i

i_Deadly situations_/i

Buffy was worried. She had made plans with Spike to meet the night before to have dinner and a movie at her place, but he had been a no show. It just wasn't like him not to show up. If something had come up he would have called and the fact that he didn't had her very worried that something had happened to him.

Even though she had not slept the night before due to waiting for him, she started her morning at the magic box asking if anyone had seen him. Unfortunately no one had, so she had then headed to Dawn's house.

She found Dawn there alone getting ready for school. Dawn was worried too of course, not just because Spike was missing but it turned out that Faith had failed to return home too. Heading to the front door Buffy promised Dawn that she would find Faith, trying to reassure her that everything would be okay, but when she opened the front door she was greeted with Faith heading up the front path looking very worn out.

"Buffy" Faith gasped, surprised to see her and trying desperately not to let guilt flood through her.

"Faith, where have you been? I've been worried," Dawn said, moving past Buffy to look at Faith who was now standing on the front porch.

"Sorry, rough night," Faith sighed.

"Demon?" Buffy asked anxiously. Faith look up at Buffy, hating the concern she could see in the other slayer's eyes.

"Vampire" Faith breathed "Just couldn't seem to bring him down," she lied, hating herself a little bit more.

"But he's dust now right? I mean, you're here and okay," Dawn asked anxiously.

"Yeah I came out on top." Faith smiled, cringing inwardly. Normally she would be quite pleased with her witty punt but now it just made her feel a little sick. Moving past the two worried women, she moved inside.

"Have you seen Spike?"

Faith froze at Buffy's question. "Ah... n..no why?" she asked, slowly turning to face her.

"He was meant to meet Buffy last night but he was a no show," Dawn informed her.

"Maybe he just forgot," Faith said, trying to sound flip.

"Yeah right not likely." Dawn laughed softly.

"What is that meant to mean?" Faith asked, trying not to let her annoyance shine through but feeling that undeniable rage burn through her that seem to consume her since her return.

"Sorry sis. I know you have been gone a while, but you remember Spike's little crush on you?"

"Little crush?" Faith replied her voice almost coming out in a hiss.

"Yeah well, he is totally in love with Buffy, which I guess would make you happy. You always hated the way Spike followed you around." Dawn didn't realize just how deep her words cut her older sister.

"Dawn." Buffy interrupted, Dawn may not have noticed how Faith's face twisted in anger and hurt, but Buffy did. "That's enough."

"What?" Dawn asked, confused. "What did I do?"

"Nothing. It's fine," Faith snapped, moving towards the stairs. "I'm sure Spike's fine. He's just like a cockroach, just when you think he is gone, he shows up again," she spat as she disappeared upstairs.

"Right whatever," Dawn sighed, turning to face Buffy.

"I'd better go. I'll see you tomorrow for movie and ice cream day?" Buffy smiled trying to hide her concern at Faith's reaction.

"Totally." Dawn smiled. Kissing her gently of the forehead, Buffy headed off to her next destination.

Ten minutes later, Buffy arrived at Spike's front door. She knew daytime was when vampires usually slept, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong and knew she would never get any rest till she saw that Spike was all right. Knocking on the door loudly, she waited. A few seconds later the door opened to show a topless Spike.

"Buffy," he whispered, looking down, too ashamed to look at her.

"Hey, big fight last night?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well we had plans. You didn't show and now you have scratches all down your chest," she replied, pointing at the red scabs where he knew Faith had gotten very rough the night before. Feeling the need to cover himself he reached for his top, quickly pulling it on.

"Yeah sorry about that, luv. I got into it a bit."

"Okay, I was just worried." Feeling hurt, Buffy sighed and turned to leave "I'll leave you to it then."

"Buffy, wait!" He panicked, grasping her arm and forcing her to turn to face him. "I'm sorry, luv. I'm just really wiped out and I did intend to come last night. I had the movies and food all ready but by the time I'd finished, it was almost morning."

"Must have been the night for it." Buffy smiled.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh well I just saw Faith, she was just getting in. Big fight with a vamp that wouldn't go down." Spike sighed, thankful that Faith had kept her word. "Anyway I'll let you rest. Are you going to patrol with me tonight?"

"Of course luv, got to make up for last night." He smiled, despite knowing inside that he never could.

"Great! I'll see you then." She smiled, kissing him softly on the cheek before bouncing down the stairs and heading for home. Spike touched his cheek, her sweet kiss still lingering. He felt ashamed and sick to his stomach for his stupidity. Shutting the front door, he wished he could go back in time and tell Faith no.

b**One month later**/b

Buffy had been called to the magic box. According to Spike's Intel, there was a new big bad in Sunnydale causing trouble, not just for the human population, but also for the resident demons That had Buffy extra worried as a demon who happily turned on its own kind was a worry. Walking into the magic box, she saw that Faith and Giles were sitting at the table talking.

"Ah, Buffy. You're here. Good, now we can start." Giles smiled, offering her a seat. "Now, Spike has got some information from the demon community..."

"They gave it up willingly?" Faith asked, surprised.

"Yes. They want this demon stopped as much as we do," he replied. "It has so far caused two human deaths and killed four demons. Its touch causes a sudden and fatal fever in its victims. A normal human doesn't stand a chance but supernatural beings can last up to thirty minutes before death comes."

"Can it be treated, this fever?" Buffy asked, concerned.

"If you get to it in time, but the fever hits normal humans so fast that they die within minutes."

"That's a problem," Buffy sighed.

"Yes I couldn't agree more. I think it best if you are together on this one," Giles said anxiously.

"Well there goes my night of relaxation," Faith sighed.

Buffy couldn't believe her ears. Innocent human people were out there dying and all she was worried about was that her plans had been spoiled. She fought the urge to reach over and smack Faith in the mouth. She suggested, "How about I take this one?"

"Buffy I don't know if that is wise."

"Look, it's one demon right? So if he is as big and bad as you say, it's better for Faith to sit this one out. If I don't get him tonight, she will be at full strength tomorrow night."

"Perhaps you're right." Giles sighed.

"Great. Let me know how it goes." Faith smiled, jumping up from her seat and all but running out of the shop.

Giles sighed, taking a seat across from Buffy and removing his glasses to clean them. "A few weeks ago, I truly thought she was coming around. She seemed happier. But now..."

"She just needs time Giles. She's been through so much. I can relate, and until she's feeling more her old self I can pick up the slack." Buffy smiled.

"Time. Yes, I suppose you're right, but I think I should accompany you tonight." he said replacing his glasses.

"Not a chance. Sorry Giles, but I won't risk it."

"Well, perhaps Spike..."

"Giles, I'm fine. I've been doing this a long, long time. I'll cover up top to bottom and if at any stage I feel as if I just can't win, I promise I'll run away like a little girl." Buffy laughed.

"Very well," he reluctantly agreed. "But please Buffy, I beg you to be careful. I couldn't bear it if you got hurt."

"Love you too Giles." She smiled. Giles laughed softly at this as he watched her head out.

Buffy went home first to change into a pair of long black tights, black long sleeved top, joggers and a beanie. Heading into the first cemetery of the night, she **scanned** the areas she moved through the night. The air felt colder than usual, and the cemetery seemed darker. She wondered if she had made the right call not to bring Spike with her.

"Get it together Buffy. This thing is out here killing people. It's time to put a stop to it," she said to herself, trying to bring her confidence up. Then she saw a demon hovering over a young girl. She ran as fast as she could, kicking it in the side so that it fell with a thud to the ground. She knew right away that she had her demon. She could feel the heat radiating off it in waves.

"Did it touch you?" she asked the frightened girl, pulling her to her feet.

"No," the girl replied, her voice cracking with fear.

"Good. Get out of here, run!" she yelled, as she saw the demon getting to his feet. Once she saw the girl sprint out of the cemetery, she pulled her sword free. The demon advanced upon her fast and hard, punching her in the stomach. Thankful that she had changed, she collected herself swinging her sword and slicing the demon's abdomen. Then she kicked it hard in the chest, making it fall backwards.

She didn't want to give this beast time to get up again so moving fast she straddled its waist and slammed her sword down, impaling the demon straight through the chest. Unfortunately, before she could react, the demon cupped her bare cheek.

"See you in hell, slayer," she heard it gurgle before slumping lifeless.

Getting to her feet, she watching it ooze into a puddle of goo. That was when she felt it. Her skin started to burn as her head began to pound. Heart racing, she felt as if she was being burned alive from the inside.

She remembered what Giles had said about supernatural beings lasting longer than normal humans, but she knew it would not be much longer. Looking around frantically she tried to get her eyes to focus.

"Spike," she whispered as she started running in the direction of his apartment. He lived only a few minutes from the cemetery so as she felt the burn intensify, she just hoped she could make it there.


	13. Sweet admissions

i_Chapter 13_/i

i_Sweet admissions_/i

At the Magic Box, Giles had told Spike that Buffy had taken it upon herself to hunt down the demon responsible for the string of deaths of not just humans but demons too. Spike wondered if he should go out and help her with the hunt, but Giles had assured him that she would be taking all the necessary precautions before heading out. Deciding she would be fine, Spike had headed home for the night.

Moving through his apartment, he was intending to shower when he heard a frantic banging on the door. Turning, he quickly opened it to see Buffy.

"Buffy, I thought..." he started, only stopping when she collapsed into his arms. Grasping her tight, he felt intense heat radiating off her. "Buffy look at me," he demanded, fear gripping him.

Her eyes fluttered open for a moment. "Demon touched me," she choked out, her eyes fluttering closed.

Picking her up, he moved fast. Racing to the bathroom, he turned on the cold water. He needed to cool her down, and fast. Her clothes clung to her tightly and he knew that if he had any hope to save her life, they would have to come off.

"Buffy pet, I need to get you out of these clothes, we need to cool you down," he told her before quickly removing her clothes and placing her into the shower.

She shuddered at the first shock of the cold spray hitting her skin and trying hard to standupright, she clung to the shower wall. She could feel her body shaking all over.

Spike contemplated calling Giles and telling him to bring ice, but he knew that by the time the watcher got there it would be too late and she would be dead. No, he was on his own. "Buffy look at me." Touching her forehead as she turned to face him, he felt that she was still burning hot and he knew the cold spray from the shower wasn't enough.

"Cold," she muttered, leaning into his hand.

"Buffy, pet. I think the heat is cooking your brain." He knew he needed to get her to the hospital. A part of him knew he may not get there in time but he was out of options.

"No," she groaned. "You cold, me hot," she moaned, leaning into his hand more desperately, seeking the coolness his skin offered.

"It's going to be okay luv," he told her. Understanding what she was trying to tell him, he stripped down and stepped into the shower with her. "Hold onto me luv," he requested as he wrapped his arms around her.

She did as he asked, wrapping her arms around his lean body and pulling herself as close to him as possible. She couldn't stop the moan that slipped from her mouth at the feel of his cold skin. After a few moments, Spike felt her skin slowly starting to cool.

"Buffy?" he whispered into her hair, trying to figure out if she was still awake.

As she slowly lifted her head to look at him, he noticed she looked much more alert. Her skin had returned to its healthyl pink colour and her temperature had almost returned to normal.

"What happened pet?" he asked, cupping her cheek.

"I had him down, he was all but dead when he touched me on the face, and the heat was overwhelming," she informed him.

"And where is the demon now?" he asked, intending on going out and making it pay over and over again for daring to touch her.

"Dead, I finished him off."

Nodding his head, he moved in to hug her close, thanking what ever god was out there that she was okay.

Buffy could feel herself responding to the sensation of his naked body against hers, he felt so good.

Her arousal flooded Spike's senses. He felt his body respond to her almost immediately and silently scolded himself, _**ibShe almost dies you git and you're thinking about shagging her!/b/i**_

Feeling her shiver, he knew that now she was getting too cold. "Let's get you out of here pet." He felt her nod against his chest, so moving to turn off the shower, he helped her step out and wrapped a towel around her naked form before doing the same to himself.

Buffy followed Spike into his bedroom. She had been surprised when he had wrapped her in a towel. Yeah okay, she was cold but she knew he had been turned on. She had felt his erection spring to life in the shower and she had hoped he would take her then, but now he was searching through drawers looking for clothes for them both.

"Here you go, pet." He turned, passing her a black shirt and boxers. "I'll give you some privacy," he said, heading for the bedroom door.

"Spike." He stopped, turning to face her. "You don't have to. I want you to stay." He looked confused for a moment before she let the towel fall from her body, leaving her naked to his stare.

Spike swallowed hard, trying to stay calm, and as much as he knew he should turn away, he just couldn't. She was a vision; her wet golden locks clung to her flawless sun kissed skin. Her breast was round and firm, her stomach flat and taut and her mound hairless and glistening with need. He felt himself go painfully hard at the sight of her as he tried to calm himself.

"Buffy..." he started to protest, but she quickly stopped him by moving forward and pressing a finger to his lips.

"Before Faith came back, we where starting something… and then suddenly it stopped. I let it happen 'cause I knew how hard it was for her to return, but now I think it's time we started again... unless you don't want me?" she said nervously, looking down.

"Buffy pet," he said, lifting her face to look into her eyes. "I have never wanted anyone more, but..." He started shaking his head.

"But what? I want you, you want me... I don't see the bad," she whispered seductively.

He knew he had to tell her, he couldn't be with her without being totally honest. He knew that he had not been with Faith since that night and knew he never would be again. It had been a mistake. He had done it out of pity but it didn't make it any less wrong, Buffy deserved to know. He knew there was a huge chance she would walk out of here tonight and never look back but at least he would know he had done the right thing, even if losing her killed him.

"Buffy you need to know something," he sighed, moving away from her. "I have done things, questionable things," he started.

She smiled slightly, realising what he was doing. Moving to press her still naked body against his back, "I don't care," she whispered.

Turning to face her, he tried to stay strong, already feeling his resolve starting to crumble at the feeling of her naked chest pressed against him. "You should, I have made mistakes big ones, and you're not going to like it."

"Spike," she said, cupping his cheek and forcing him to look at her. "We all make mistakes. Granted yours are worse than some, but you have a demon inside you that you fight every day. Sometimes you win and sometimes you don't, but the point is you try, you learn... I don't care about the things you have done in your past, any of it, because when I look at you, all I see is the good in you... I love you Spike," she whispered.

He felt his heart clench at her words. In all his years as a vampire, no one had ever said they loved him and truly meant it, but she did. It shone through her eyes. It made him want to cry, to jump for joy and to beat himself to death for betraying her, but he did none of those things.

"I love you too Buffy," he choked out. "God I love you so much." And he smashed his lips down onto hers.

He felt her tug his towel loose, letting it fall to the floor. Lifting her, he felt her wrap her legs around his waist, pressing her wet centre across his erection. He moved them back to the bed and they tumbled onto it together. Spraying wet kisses down the column of her neck, he didn't stop until he reached her breasts.

As he flicked his tongue over one hardened nipple, he loved the sounds she was making. After making sure to give that one enough attention, he moved to the other, making sure to give it the same treatment.

"Oh god, Spike," she groaned in pleasure, threading her hand through his hair and pulling him closer. "Please Spike, I need you now." She couldn't take the teasing, she was too hot, too turned on for foreplay. She needed, wanted him inside her now.

Spike moved up her body, kissing her deeply. Buffy could feel his harden length rubbing against her wet heat, coating his cock in her juices. Lifting her hips, she moaned when his cock slipped between her wet lips and rubbed against her clit. Spike teased her with a few strokes to her clit before positioning himself at her entrance and sliding in.

Spike groaned as he slid all the way in. She was so tight, unlike anything he had ever felt before, and she was all his.

Buffy let out a deep moan at the feel of his cock inside her, he felt so good, so right. Feeling him slowly start thrusting in and out of her, she hissed in pleasure and a little pain. She had only been with one guy before, and no one since Pike's death.

"Buffy, so good," Spike panted, sliding his arm down her body and cupping her bottom. "So tight," he moaned, sliding his hand to her thigh and lifting her leg out to the side.

She felt him slide in deeper and couldn't stop herself as she arched her back, and let out a moan. He was moving in and out of her at an agonizingly slow pace and she needed more, had to have more. "Spike please... fuck me!" Buffy gasped, arching her back as he hit something deep within her. "Faster," she gasped. "Fuck me harder!" Buffy gasped and groaned as he did just that, the hand on her thigh gripped tighter and raised her leg higher.

She was so close; she knew she wouldn't last much longer, he felt too good. Each time he moved her leg into a new position, he seemed to slide in even deeper. Spike stretched her , filling every part of her. She could feel every ripple and vein on his cock as he slipped in and out of her.

"Buffy... fuck you feel so good, just like heaven." He quickened his pace. "So bloody tight and hot, you're burning me up luv," he groaned, nibbling on her ear before moving to kiss the skin just behind her ear, making her shudder.

"Spike please I need..." she stuttered, unsure if she should make her request.

"Tell me pet, tell me what you need," he moaned, wanting to fulfil her every wish and desire.

"Bite me please," she begged, exposing her neck to him.

"Buffy" he slowed his movements "The chip."

"So don't hurt me, just make me feel so good," she whispered, hoping he wouldn't deny her.

Moving forward, he picking up his pace. He shifted in to game face licking her neck and feeling her shudder. He could hear her blood screaming at his as he slipped his fangs in. Feeling her sweet essence flow into his mouth, he pounded into her harder, faster than before.

Buffy felt door after door slam open. His fangs in her neck, the feeling of him pounding into her heat and slipping in and out of her sent her walls fluttering. Feeling her beneath him, Spike quickened his pace, growling when her hands cupped his bottom and pulled him in harder and faster. She was spiralling completely out of control. Buffy felt herself let go, her walls squeezing his cock like a vice grip as she wailed in release. Spike was panting, letting out a groan when she scraped her nails down his back, his hips thrusting hard and fast against hers.

"SPIKE!"

Slipping his fangs from her neck, he licked the wound closed, still thrusting into her at a brutal pace, but when he felt her sink her blunt teeth into his neck he tumbled over the edge, roaring in release as he spilled his cold seed into her hot welcoming body.

"Buffy, you're amazing," he groaned, still seated inside her he moved, kissing her lovingly.

"You're pretty amazing yourself," she sighed happily, almost whimpering when he slipped from her heat.

He rolled beside her, hugging her close to his body. "I love you" he whispered into her neck.

"I love you too," she replied before they both fell into a deep dreamless sleep.


	14. What goes up always comes crashing down

i_Chapter 14_/i

i_What goes up always comes crashing down_/i

b**One month later**/b

Buffy sighed contently, feeling Spike's strong arms wrapped around her protectively as they lay in bed together after one of their many heated encounters since that first night together..

Buffy had never felt so happy. Things were going great between them. Spike would patrol with her every second night and they would spend her night off curled up together at her house watching a movie. The night always ended with them making love in various places in her house.

They hadn't told anyone about their new relationship. It wasn't that they were hiding it from them, it was simply that it had never come up and a part of Buffy wanted to keep it between them for a while. She was enjoying their closeness without anyone else's opinions or probing questions.

She knew they had to get out of bed and head out. The sun was almost down and Buffy had promised to watch over Dawn for Faith.

Faith had gotten a job at the Doublemeat Palace. Personally, Buffy couldn't think of a worse place in Sunnydale to work. Buffy had offered to help Faith out financially but Faith had refused, saying she needed to learn to do things alone.

With Willow, Tara and Giles on a magic retreat and Xander and Anya both working, it only left Buffy and Spike. Spike offered to patrol for Faith, and Buffy would still get her night off and get to spend time with Dawn, which Spike knew Buffy wanted to do.

Faith had put slight restrictions on the amount of time Buffy and Dawn got to spend together. There was always some reason why Dawn couldn't spend time with Buffy; she has homework, housework, something-work to be done. Spike knew Faith was doing it to be hurtful because Dawn was spending more and more time alone, even though both Buffy and Spike had offered to help out with Dawn duties. He just hoped Faith snapped out of it soon.

Buffy couldn't help the smile that crept up onto her face at the feel of Spike's hardening member pushing against her backside as he moaned into her neck.

"We can't," she sighed, feeling wetness already pooling between her thighs. "I have to be at Faith's in half an hour."

"Plenty of time," he groaned when he felt his cock slip between her wet folds, manoeuvring himself so he brushed across her clit and causing her to moan loudly. "You know you want to pet, you're so wet for me. Now let Spike in."

She couldn't stop herself from opening her legs, granting him better access. She gasped when she felt his cock slip inside her easily, stretching her so perfectly.

He started to thrust into her slowly, enjoying the feel of being inside her. He could have her every day for a lifetime and it would never be enough. He knew that one day he might lose her and it scared him to death. Pushing that thought aside, he tried to focus on being with her right now, this moment.

Buffy could feel the familiar burn starting to build in the pit of her stomach but she needed more. Moving her hand without thinking, she slid it down between her legs rubbing her clit gently, causing her to moan.

"That's it, pet. Touch that sweet little pussy," he groaned in her ear, feeling himself getting closer and closer to the edge at the thought of her touching herself.

Buffy moaned, arching her back; his words brought her to the edge as she spiralled out of control.

"Oh god, Spike," she wailed out in her release.

Spike pumped into her more forcefully. Feeling her pussy spasm and clench around him like a vice and coating his cock with her juices, he quickly fell over the edge, coating her womb with his cold seed.

"God Buffy," he moaned, kissing her sweaty neck lovingly. "Love you so much pet."

"I love you too," she sighed contently, whimpering when he slipped from her heat. Rolling over, she kissed him hard before pulling back.

"I'm going to have a quick shower," she informed him, slipping from under the covers.

"I'll join you," he said, attempting to stand, but she quickly stopped him.

"Oh no you won't." She laughed softly when he pouted. "If we get into that shower together the last thing we will be doing is showering and we have to get going." Kissing him one last time, she headed into the shower leaving a disappointed Spike behind.

Buffy was ready to kill Dawn. She had been babysitting her for the past five hours and the whole five hours she had been pumping Buffy about her and Spike.

"Come on, Buffy. I'm not blind or stupid, I see the way you guys having been looking at each other, so spill already," Dawn nagged.

"Dawn..." Buffy started, but Dawn cut her off again.

"If you tell me, I'll stop nagging." She promised, "I swear I won't tell anyone, not even Faith. Please, please Buffy," she begged, bouncing around in her seat.

"Fine, but only if you promise to stop nagging at me," Buffy caved.

"I promise," she replied bouncing around excitedly.

Buffy laughed softly at her enthusiasm, neither noticing Faith's return. "Spike and I have been dating for about a month now."

"Oh my god!" Dawn squealed. "Tell me everything. Is he a good kisser? I bet he is a good kisser... wait… have you guys, you know... done it?"

"Dawn!" Buffy laughed, surprised at her questions. "I'm not telling you that!"

"Oh come on Buffy," she pouted. "I'm way too young to be having sex myself so I need all the juicy goss from you guys... ppplease!"

"Oh fine, yes he is a good kisser, very good actually." Buffy giggled almost feeling like she was back in high school "As for the other thing... yes we have."

"OH MY GOD!" Dawn squealed again, jumping up from her seat and squealing so loud Buffy though her eardrums might pop.

"Ssshhhh," Buffy quietened her, forcing her to sit back down.

"Sorry," Dawn giggled. "Wow! How was it? I mean was it good? I bet it was amazing cause you know I've seen how well Spike fills out his jeans and wow," Dawn babbled.

"Dawn," Buffy laughed at the over excited teen. "Yes it was amazing, he is amazing... He told me he is in love with me," Buffy sighed happily.

"Wow!" Dawn sighed dreamily.

Faith couldn't stand to hear anymore. She could feel rage burning deep inside her, seeping into every core. They where dating, sleeping together? And only a month after she herself had slept with Spike? And he had told Buffy he was in love with her? Faith felt jealousy consume her; even before Faith had died, Spike had never said he was in love with her, just that he had feelings for her, what made Buffy so special?.

"This isn't exactly an appropriate story for my kid sister," Faith snapped, both girls standing from the lounge to face her.

"Faith." Buffy cringed inwardly. It looked as if the cat was out of the bag.

"Don't be mad with Buffy, I've been nagging her all night," Dawn explained.

"Dawn, go have a shower and go to bed. You have school in the morning," Faith ordered.

"Okay, night Buffy," Dawn sighed, giving Buffy a quick hug before heading upstairs and leaving the two slayers alone.

"I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have told Dawn all that but I'm sure you know better than anyone that you can only take so much Dawn nagging before you cave." Buffy laughed softly trying to keep things light, moving past Faith grabbing her jacket and preparing to leave.

"So you and Spike huh?" Faith inquired, turning to face her.

"Yeah," Buffy replied, slipping her jacket on.

"Why didn't you guys tell anyone?" Buffy could hear the icy tone of Faith's voice.

"We weren't keeping it a secret or anything, it just never came up," she tried to explain.

"Well seems to me like he is working his way around the group. Next thing you know, he will be trying to sleep with Anya," Faith spat.

"Excuse me?" Buffy asked, stunned by her cruel tone.

"What, he didn't tell you? I guess I shouldn't be surprised, he is evil after all."

"Spike is not evil and I'll ask you nicely to keep your opinions to yourself," Buffy snapped, turning and opening the door.

"No? Then what would you call it when he fucks one slayer and then moves on to the next?"

Buffy stopped, frozen, feeling her blood run cold at Faith's admission. "What?" she asked, turning to face her.

"Spike and I were together only two months ago," Faith informed her, crossing her arms across her chest. "I believe it was the night he was meant to meet you for movies and Chinese food."

"You told me the next morning you hadn't seen him," Buffy replied hoping, praying it was all lies.

"True. I guess I should have told you then, I just didn't see the game he was playing."

"Game?" Buffy whispered, feeling sick to her stomach.

"Well turns out he has a thing for slayers. He can't kill them anymore so he keeps to bedding them now," Faith said, moving closer to Buffy. "Did he play the sensitive guy card and get you to seduce him? Or the I love you card like he did with me?"

Buffy looked down hurt. Had Spike told Faith he loved her? Was it all just a cruel game to get her into bed? She felt physically ill at the thought.

Faith wanted to stop. She was being cruel and was starting to lie too. Spike had never claimed to love her and never said anything about having feelings for her the night they slept together, but it was as if she was possessed and couldn't stop herself.

"Don't feel bad Buffy, I fell for it too." Faith turned, heading for the stairs. "I guess one too many blows to the head left us both a little thick. Good night."

She disappeared upstairs and it wasn't until she heard the bedroom door close that Buffy slid down the door as sobs racked through her body.


	15. Crushing realizations

i_Chapter 15_/i

i_Crushing realizations_/i

Buffy had been wandering around for what felt like hours, although she knew it probably hadn't been that long. She had been going to head straight home after watching Dawn but after her run in with Faith she desperately needed something to kill.

A part of Buffy was screaming at her to track down Spike and demand to know whether or not it was true but the other part of her knew it would only cause her heartache as she knew already that it was. Even with Faith's cruel and jealous tone, her eyes screamed the truth that they had slept together.

Buffy had been roaming the local cemeteries for hours looking in vain for anything to beat up while her mind kept going over and over her conversation with Faith.

She was aware that she and Spike were not together when it happened. She was also aware that at the time he owed her nothing, but he had lied to her. The morning she had gone to see him worried that something had happened when he had failed to show up at her place, he had told her he spent the night fighting demons.

Thinking back, she remembered that he explained the scratch marks on him by saying b**I got into it a bit.**/bThe realisation that the marks where not from any demon but had in fact been made by Faith, made Buffy's stomach churn.

How could he do this to her? He had slept with Buffy, told her he loved her, but just a month before he had slept with Faith. He had lied to her. Why couldn't he have just been honest with her from the beginning? Maybe then she wouldn't be so hurt.

Truth was, the second she heard about Faith and Spike's time together she had forgiven him instantly and that was what scared her the most. She was so in love with him that she could forgive his lies and betrayal instantly. She feared she was leaving herself wide open for a lifetime of pain. Sighing, Buffy decided to call it a night and turned and headed home.

Spike had been home for about an hour. Patrol had been quiet and aside from a few newly risen vampires it had mostly been uneventful. He knew he was meeting Buffy tomorrow evening to patrol with her but he couldn't wait, he wanted to see her. Grabbing his duster and keys, he was shocked to open his front door and see Faith. After all, she had mostly been avoiding him.

"Can I come in?" she asked, her voice sounding strange, almost husky.

"Sure," he sighed, moving aside to let her in and shutting the door behind her. He looked at her outfit, noticing it wasn't her usual pants, singlet and jacket. Instead she wore a short black skirt and a blood red low cut top with knee high boots. To be honest he thought at that moment she looked like a street walker.

"What are you doing here Faith?" he asked, confused by her arrival.

"A girl can't drop by and say hi?" she whispered, walking to him and running her finger down his shirt covered chest. When she moved to undo his buttons, he quickly grasped her hands to stop her.

"What do you want Faith?" he asked, his tone serious.

"You know what I want Spike." She leaned up, attempting to kiss him, but he quickly stepped back and out of her reach.

"Not gonna happen," he informed her. He saw her face twist with rage and prepared himself for the blow.

"Why?" she hissed. "Because you're with Slutty the vampire layer now?"

"Faith, stop," he warned.

"Or what, you'll lick me to death?" Suddenly the rage in her face was gone, replaced with a seductive smile. "Actually that wouldn't be a bad way to go. What do you say Spikey, wanna give it a go?" she whispered, moving up to lick his ear lobe. She was stunned when he forcefully pushed her away causing her back to hit a near by wall winding her slightly.

"The chip?" she gasped. "You had it removed."

"No I didn't. Chip works just fine," he sighed, looking down. It was clear that Giles and Tara hadn't yet told Faith what they had found out about Willow's spell.

"But how?"

"You should talk to your watcher and Tara pet," he offered.

"No I'm talking to you. What is going on Spike?" she demanded to know.

Sighing, he caved. "They were looking into the spell Red did and it turns out you may have come back a little different," he explained.

"I came back wrong?" she whispered, almost sounding relieved.

"Not wrong pet, just different... As Tara explained it, shifting you out of ... f-f-from where you were ... funnelling your essence back into your body, it altered you on a basic molecular level. Probably just enough to confuse the sensors or whatever in my blasted chip. But it's all just surfacey physical stuff. It wouldn't have any more effect than ... a bad sunburn, that's how she put it anyway," he tried his best to explain.

"So I didn't come back wrong?"

She sounded so scared, he saw tears mirror her eyes and wanted to reach out and comfort her but thought it best the hold back. "No, you didn't... Why do you sound upset about that?" Her head shot up at this, tears falling down her cheeks. "You used to be able to talk to me about almost anything, you still can Faith." He moved closer placing a supportive hand on her shoulder.

She jerked away from him and headed for the door.

"They must have missed something," she said, reaching for the door but Spike grasped her arm and turned her to face him.

"They didn't miss anything pet. I promise, there's nothing wrong with you," he tried to reassure her.

"There has to be!" she all but yelled. "This can't be me, this isn't me." Her voice came out as a whisper as she started to cry again.

"Why do I feel like this? Why do I keep hurting the people who care about me?" she asked no one in particular. "It's consuming me Spike, deep inside of me, rage, anger. Just when I think I have it under control it boils to the surface," she tried to explain.

"Faith, you went through something huge and being where you were, only to have that taken from you, it's bound to mess you up a bit."

"I keep hurting people. I don't know how to stop," she cried.

He moved in then, hugging her close. "Giles told me about the retreat in England he is taking Willow to, to try and help her with her magic problems. Maybe... maybe you should go too? They could help," he suggested, pulling back to look at her.

She nodded at him. "Maybe you're right. Giles suggested it too but I kind of bit his head off."

"I'm sure he understands."

"But what about Dawn? I can't just pull her out of school for a few months and leave the hellmouth unprotected."

"We can handle Dawn duty. She goes on holidays soon anyway and Buffy is here to handle patrol."

"Oh god, Buffy," Faith gasped, stepping out of his embrace as guilt flooded through her. "How am I ever going to make this right with her? She tried to be my friend, went out of her way to help me when she had no reason to. The things I said to her..."

"What things?"

"Oh god. I'm so sorry, Spike. I overheard Buffy and Dawn talking about you two and I just lost it... I told her about what happened between us... I told her everything," she confessed.

He could see her guilt, her regret, and knew he couldn't be mad at her, Spike knew he should have told Buffy himself. "It's okay, it's going to be okay," he reassured her, hugging her again and hoping he was right, hoping Buffy would forgive him.

Buffy had returned home to find a message on her machine from a friend of Giles who needed the help of a slayer for a week. She knew she had to go, but whether she decided to return to Sunnydale or not would depend of her talk with Spike.

Heading out into the night, she made her way to Spike's but when she arrived she was confronted with Faith exiting his apartment. She watched them embrace, hugging each other tightly and she knew then her choice was made.

It was time for her to leave Sunnydale, for good.


	16. Broken souls

i_Chapter 16_/i

i_Broken souls_/i

Spike knew Buffy was home, he could sense her moving around her house. After Faith had left, he had headed straight for Buffy's, knowing he needed to explain what had happened and why he had never told her about it.

Taking a deep unneeded breath, he headed towards the front door, pausing for a moment before he knocked. After a few moments, the door swung open to reveal Buffy.

"Spike, what you are doing here?"

He could hear the icy edge on her tone and could tell by the look on her face that she didn't want to see him. "Can I come in, luv?"

She looked around for a moment as if she was searching for a reason not to let him in. Sighing, she nodded before moving aside and letting him enter. Closing the door behind him, she saw him eye the two suit cases by the staircase.

"You're leaving?" he asked as he turned to look at her, his face covered with shock and fear.

She knew she should tell him the truth but she figured he'd lied to her, why couldn't she lie to him?

"It's not what you think," she sighed, moving into the lounge room as he followed her. "A friend of Giles needs help with some big bad and apparently there is a prophecy that says only a slayer can stop the threat, so I'm going to help out. I should be back in a week tops."

"Oh." He nodded. "Buffy I spoke to Faith..." he started, desperately wanting to explain, but she quickly cut him off.

"Can we not do this," she almost begged, turning to walk away from him.

"Luv please..." he begged, grasping her arm then feeling the sting of hurt when she jerked away from him.

"I am not your luv," she hissed. "You know, I don't know what I'm more mad about, the fact that you lied to my face that morning when I asked what had happened to you, or that I had to hear the truth from Faith."

He tried to explain, "I never meant to hurt you Buffy, it was a mistake and it meant nothing, that's why I didn't tell you."

"I don't care that you and Faith slept together. We weren't together then so you didn't owe me any loyalties, but you should have been honest with me. I think I've earned that much," she all but yell at him.

"You're right. I should have told you the truth. I was just so afraid of losing you," he confessed.

"I get why you thought you needed to hide the truth from me, but if you knew me at all you would know the one thing I can't stand is the people I care about lying to me." She sighed, walking away from him. "Anne lied to me about how the magic was consuming her, Pike lied to me about being attacked that night and look how that ended." She turned to face him, tears pricking her eyes.

"Pet..." He started moving towards her, overwhelmed with the need to comfort her, but she stepped back, a silent warning not to touch her.

"I need some time alone to think, to figure out how I feel about all of this." Spike nodded knowing there was no point arguing with her. "I leave town tomorrow morning," she informed him.

"But you'll be back in a week, right?" he asked, desperately seeking reassurance.

She swallowed a lump in her throat knowing she should be honest, it was after all what she believed in, but he had hurt her so much that she couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth. "Right" she replied, looking down.

"Then I'll see you in a week." She nodded, still unable to look him in the eyes. She felt him move closer cupping her cheek and kissing her forehead with so much love it made her chin tremble and tears run down her cheeks. "Just remember, I love you so much and I'm so sorry," he whispered before turning to leave.

Buffy didn't look up 'til she heard the front door click closed. Looking at the empty space where Spike once was, she crumpled to the floor as her body was racked with sobs.

Early the next morning, Buffy pulled up in front of Giles apartment. Slipping from behind the driver's seat, she headed to the front door. She had to tell Giles the truth. He was her watcher and she couldn't bring herself to just disappear on him, leaving him no doubt worried about her well being. She knocked but was quickly greeted by Giles.

"Buffy is everything all right?" he asked, clearly concerned.

"Ah, yeah. Actually, can we talk?"

"Of course," he replied, ushering her inside before closing the door behind her.

Buffy turned to face him, wanting to get right to the point. "I got your message last night about the friend in L.A"

"Ah, yes. Good. Angel said he would deal with it alone, but the prophecy said only a slayer could defeat the threat. I would have sent Faith but... well, I don't think she is quite up to it just yet."

"It's fine, Giles. I can handle it."

"Well, Angel said it should only take a few days."

"Um, actually I've decided it's... well it's time for me to leave Sunnydale," she informed him.

"What?" he asked, stunned.

"Yeah. I mean Faith is back now and its silly have two slayers in one town when I could be helping out elsewhere."

"I don't understand. Where this is coming from? I thought you were happy here."

"I was, I mean I am it's just..." she started, but Giles quickly cut her off.

"Did something happen? Was it Spike?" Buffy looked up, shocked. "I'm not blind Buffy. I can see there is something between you two."

"There was, but there's not anymore." she admitted.

"Did he hurt you?" Giles asked, unsure if he wanted to know the answer.

"Not in the way you think. The chip is still working fine."

"But he did hurt you." She nodded, tears pricking her eyes.

"Oh Buffy I'm so sorry." Giles sighed, moving forward to wrap her in a warm hug. "I believe this requires ice cream of some kind," he said before stepping back a little awkwardly.

"It's okay Giles. Ice cream will come later, but I have to go," she laughed a sad smile on her face.

"Buffy, please stay. I'll speak with Spike. Perhaps we can work out an arrangement so you don't have to see each other," he suggested.

"No, you know I'm right about this Giles. It's wasteful having two slayers in one town."

"Well yes, but you have formed friendships here and what about Dawn? She is so close to you."

"I'll call Dawn and explain everything to her. She will understand and besides I can always visit." Giles nodded, knowing it was useless to argue with her. She had clearly made up her mind. "Anyway, all I ask is that you don't tell anyone where I went and once I decide where to stay, I'll let you know."

"Of course, I promise." He nodded as she moved for the door.

"I'll miss you," she whispered, turning back to look at him before walking out into the morning light and leaving Sunnydale behind.


	17. Leaving it all behind

i_Chapter 17_/i

i_Leaving it all behind_/i

b**One week later**/b

Dawn sat at her laptop, tears burning her sad eyes; she couldn't believe the words she was reading in the email she had just received from Buffy. How could she do this to her? How could she just leave her? Everyone always left, she reminded herself.

She heard the front door open and Faith's, Tara's and Spike's voices filled the house. She couldn't stop the rage that boiled within her, so clicking print on the email, she impatiently waited for the paper to appear. Snatching it from the printer, she stormed down stairs.

"Hey Bit" Spike said smiling up at her has she moved towards him, but before anyone realized what had happened, Dawn's right open hand connected with Spike's cheek.

"Dawn!" Faith snapped as Tara gasped with surprise at Dawn's outburst.

Spike only stood there jaw clenched as a clear red hand mark formed on his face. "You want to tell me what I did to deserve that pidgeon?" Spike asked calmly, so calmly it just seemed to make her rage even worse.

"Don't call me pidgeon or Bit," She spat. "In fact don't ever talk to me again."

She turned to storm away from him but he quickly stopped her, grasping her arm and forcing her to face him. "Now hang on a second, you don't just get a free pass at smacking me in the face with no explanation," he informed her as she jerked her arm from his grasp. "Now explain," he demanded.

"I don't know what you did to her, but because of you she isn't coming back," she yelled, tears falling from her eyes. "How dare you take her from me? She was all I had!" she screamed, face red with anger.

"Dawn I don't know what is going on here but you know you have me..." Faith started moving to comfort her sister but Dawn moved back. Faith couldn't help but be hurt.

"Oh please." Dawn laughed bitterly. "You don't want to be here. All you've done since you got back is make everyone's lives even more miserable by moping around and putting everyone down."

"Dawn..."

"No it's true. You know it's true. But she wanted to be here with me, she didn't try with all her power to have to get away from me. She didn't look at me like a burden or a freak and you took that from me!" she spat as she turned to face Spike.

"Dawn I don't know what you're talking about," Spike said, moving forward again to try and comfort her.

"Maybe this will help you understand," she hissed, throwing the crumpled paper at him before running up the stairs and disappearing into her room, slamming the door behind her.

Spike quickly picked up the paper, opening it up as he started to read aloud:

i_Dearest Dawn,_/i

i_I know I shouldn't be telling you this, this way but I fear should I face you or even hear your sweet but sad voice on the phone, I would cave, and I can't. You see I'm not returning to Sunnydale. I've decided that with Faith there now, I'm no longer needed and perhaps it would be better if I use my skills elsewhere... Lots of big bads out there need stopping and it seems wasteful to have two slayers in one town._/i

i_I know what you're thinking, that there is more to the story than that, and you would be right. I can't tell you what happened between Spike and myself that led to me making this decision, but I will say this. Sometimes things just fall apart and you can't ever put them back together again. Don't be mad at him, he will need you in this._/i

i_I promise in time I will come and visit you and perhaps one day your sister will allow you to visit me, but until then my sweet Dawn, please be strong. Know this is in no way your fault and I love you as if you were my own sister._/i

i_Say goodbye to the gang for me and look out for Faith. She has a long and hard road ahead but if she is anything like me, she will get there with time. And tell Spike... tell him I'm sorry I lied, but I couldn't bear the look on his face if I had told him the truth. I know he would have tried to stop me from leaving and I had to go._/i

i_I will talk to you again soon and remember I love you always._/i

i_Buffy_/i

Spike looked at the paper in his hand. Tears streamed down his face as the realisation that he had lost her for good hit him like a ton of bricks. Dropping the paper to the floor, he turned and headed for the front door.

"Spike." Faith's soft voice stopped him but he didn't look up, he couldn't. "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

"No it's not, I'm the bad guy. I never deserved her anyway," he whispered sadly as he walked out, leaving a surprised Tara and Faith behind.

"Oh my god poor Spike," Tara whispered.

"I have to fix this, it's all my fault."

"How is this your fault?" Tara asked in confusion.

Taking a deep breath, Faith led Tara into the kitchen to explain everything and just hoped that maybe Tara could help her put this all back together.

b**Three weeks later **/b

Buffy came out of Angel Investigations, heading for home after a long night of research. There was a new baddie in town, a guy named Holt. A guy from Angel's past, and while she didn't agree with what Angelus had done to Holt's family, she also knew he was hunting the wrong person, Angelus no longer existed and everything inside her was screaming that things were going to go very bad with this guy.

Walking into her apartment building, she headed upstairs hoping more than anything for some much needed rest, only to come face to face with Faith and Tara who were standing at her front door.

"Giles," she whispered, knowing right away who had told them where to find her.

"He is the only one aside from Angel Inc who knows where you are," Faith replied.

"Right come in." She moved past them, unlocking the door and heading inside. "So what can I do for you guys?" she asked, turning to face them.

"Faith has something she wants to say."

"Right... Buffy about that night, the things I said..." Faith started, but Buffy quickly cut her off.

"I know you're sorry, but I'm not angry at you, I don't blame you. I've been where you were, felt the fear and pain, so I get it."

Faith nodded glad she understood the uncontrollable anger. "Spike..." Faith started again but was cut short once again.

"Don't, please don't try to defend him," Buffy begged as she started to pace.

"He misses you Buffy and he is hurting really badly," Tara intervened.

"Please Buffy it wasn't his fault. I threw myself at him that night, I begged him to stay with me but I... I knew he didn't want me. He didn't want to be there with me, I could see it in his eyes, feel it in his touch. All he wanted was you but I just wanted to feel anything other..."

"Than dead," Buffy finished for her.

Faith looked up, a little surprised. "Right, been there felt that," She laughed softly. "He just wanted to help me, Buffy." Faith sighed.

"And of course the best way to do that, is to screw your brains out," Buffy snapped, getting frustrated.

"I thought you weren't angry," Faith whispered, hurt.

"Maybe I am a little angry," Buffy sighed. "But not at you."

"So me you'll pardon, but not him?" Faith snapped.

"He lied to me!" Buffy all but yelled.

"And so did I," Faith went back at her.

Buffy sighed shaking her head, taking a much needed deep breath she continued. "You're not a danger," she whispered.

"What do you mean Buffy?" Tara asked, stepping forward.

"You know Anna lied to me when the magics started to consume her. I could have helped her, saved her, but now she is rotting away in a rehab slash mental hospital for the magically deranged. Pike lied to me about being attacked and turned that night. Maybe I could have saved him too, re-ensoulded him somehow, but now he is nothing but ashes." Buffy shook her head in frustration as she continued, "It's not that Spike slept with you, we weren't together. Had he been honest from the start, I could have dealt with it, I could have stayed and tried to make things work."

"He was scared, afraid of losing you, that you would never be able to forgive him," Faith tried to reason.

"I forgave him the second I heard about it," Buffy confessed.

"Then what's wrong Buffy?" Tara asked, confused.

"I love him so much that I can forgive him for sleeping with someone else, someone I considered a friend. I can forgive him for lying to my face for months. What would happen if his chip stopped working? If he started feeding again? If he killed someone? Would I just forgive him? Turn a blind eye cause I love him so much that I would rather let innocent people die than have to stake another person I love, simply 'cause I can't live without them?"

Faith finally knew now. She understood all too well. She had loved Angel so much that when he lost his soul, she had hesitated time and time again in stopping him. People had died because of those hesitations. It was part of the reason she would never allow herself to fully care for Spike in the first place, because she herself had worried that if the chip stopped working and they were a couple in love… If he started to feed again, could she stop him? Or would more innocent people die because she hesitates when it comes to the person she loves.

"I understand." Faith nodded.

"I know you do," Buffy replied. She had read about Faith's time with Angel in the watchers' diaries covering what had happened in Sunnydale. Faith turned, heading for the door.

"Faith!" Tara gasped, surprised.

"Tara, sometimes some things are better left alone," Faith explained.

Tara nodded, heading for the door. She figured Faith would explain more on the way home.

"It's better that Spike doesn't know you found me. That he doesn't know where I am."

Faith only nodded, opening the door as Tara headed out. "Dawn misses you like crazy, you should call her," Faith said before walking out and closing the door behind her.

"I miss her too," Buffy whispered to the now empty apartment, hoping that she had made the right choice.


	18. Leaving me empty

i_Chapter 18_/i

i _Leaving me empty_/i

b**One month later**/b

Buffy paced around Angel Inc. The past week had been quiet and she was finding herself growing restless. Since the last attempt had been made to snatch Connor, things had gotten creepy quiet. Honestly, Buffy found it unsettling.

Not only did it make her fear the worst but it left her with nothing to do but go over and over the events that had happened back in Sunnydale when more than anything else, she just wanted to forget it all. Deciding she needed to take her mind off things, Buffy headed downstairs to the training area.

Lorne looked up from his book, watching as Buffy walked past. He could feel the anxiety rolling off the slayer in waves, had since the very first day she had arrived. She had been very quiet to start with, only talking when talked to or when she had input about some big bad, but mostly only to Fred and Cordy.

It was clear she didn't trust men or demons, especially demons. He just wished she would open up to someone. He knew that Cordy had tried to reach out to her, but Buffy had clammed up, saying it didn't matter as it was in the past.

"Any luck?" he heard Angel ask him as he came to stand beside him.

"Some, but that girl is extremely guarded. It's hard to get much off her," Lorne sighed.

Angel stood for a moment confused. "I'm talking about Holz, tracking him down," Angel informed him, looking at the paperwork in his hands.

"Well I'm talking about little Miss Buffy, Angel cakes. Honestly, don't you pay attention?"

"Huh?" Angel replied, confused.

"That girl has such presence, such love and talent, but she hides herself from everyone… if she could just trust someone."

"She trusts us." Lorne looked up at Angel. "Doesn't she?" Angel asked, now unsure.

"Angel cakes, I would be surprised if she even trusts young Fred, let alone you or me," Lorne scoffed before walking away and heading in the direction in which Buffy had gone.

Buffy hammered into the bag as though her life depended on it, hit after hit kick after kick. When the chain gave and the bag hit the ground with a loud thud, she wasn't surprised. Sighing, she moved to sit down, undoing the bandages on her hands. She knew she had to deal with this anger and mistrust she had rolling around inside her, that was the third time this month she had busted the bag.

i_Love of my life, my soulmate, you're my best friend, part of me__,__ like breathing, now half of me is left__._/i

Buffy found her lips moving along with the music. It had been years since she had last sung, before she had died that fateful night Pike had been taken captive. If she hadn't been destined to be the slayer, she knew she would have been a singer. Her voice was soft and delicate and she loved the freedom she felt when she got lost in the music.

i_Don't know anything at all__,__ who am I to say you love me__,__ I don't know anything at all and who am I to say you need me?_/i

Finally, she allowed herself to get lost in something for the first time in two months. She enjoyed the music, the sound of her own voice along with the radio, allowing all the emotions it brought to the surface to wash over her.

i_Colour me blue I'm lost in you, don't know why I'm still waiting, many moons have come and gone, don't know why I'm still searching__._/i

She was trying not to let her thoughts lead to Spike, to the pain, the betrayal and love she still felt. How much it hurt to be without him and how much she missed him every moment of every day, but the words were just too close to home.

i_Don't know anything at all and who am I to say you love me, I don't know anything at all and who am I to say you need me.__Hmmm hmmm mmm uhhh oohhh aahhh. Hooo aahhh ohh ohhh_/i

She missed him so much that at times she found herself picking up the phone and calling his cellphone just to hear his voice. She knew she was just torturing herself. The sound of his beautiful voice always brought tears to her eyes and she never responded, no matter how much she desperately wanted to.

i_Now you're a song I love to sing, never thought it feels so free. Now I know what's meant to be and that's okay with me_/i

She felt her eyes start to burn with the tears she had been holding back for months. Pain and anger pumped through her veins like poison burning her, going from her heart and travelling straight to her soul. She couldn't help but feel truly empty for the first time in a long time.

Alone.

i_But who am I to say you love me and who am I to say you need me and who am I to say you love me__. __Mmmm hmmm_/i

She supposed she had no one to blame but herself, she had been the one to leave, after all, but she couldn't help but second guess herself. Was she making a mistake? Was she being irrational? Was she allowing her fear to guide her heart?

i_I don't know anything at all, and who am I to say you love me. I don't know anything at all and who am I to say you need me, I don't know anything at all_./i

No, she decided. She had made the right choice for everyone. She just needed to let go, to move on, but she knew that would be easier said than done. Tears slipped from her burning eyes, sliding down her flushed cheeks.

i_I don't know anything at all, I don't know anything all, I don't know anything at all__._/i

Squeezing her eyes shut, she attempted in vain to stop the tears but she knew it was too late, the dam had broken. Slipping from her seat she crumpled to the floor. Hugging her knees to her chest, she buried her head in her knees as she sobbed.

"So much pain," she heard a voice whisper. Her head shot up to see Lorne standing at the foot of the stairs, she hadn't even heard him come in. "He did a lot of damage."

"Who?" Buffy asked, praying he hadn't heard her singing. She knew about Lorne's gift and it was why she was careful to never sing or even hum around him, not wanting her dark past to come out.

"I think you know sugar."

She stood quickly, frantically trying to wipe the tears from her no doubt very red eyes. "Lorne…" she started but he stopped her.

"I have been standing in the doorway since you broke the bag… again," he informed her. Moving closer, he tried not to feel hurt when she stepped back cautiously. "Spike…"

"Don't," she begged, putting her hand up to stop him "Please, just don't."

"I know what he did with Faith. I could feel it, the hurt, the betrayal you felt when you found out he had been with her, when you realized he had lied to you. It tore you up inside to leave him."

"Yes," she whispered, more tears burning her eyes.

"But I feel you love for him fighting through so strongly, your forgiveness."

"It doesn't matter if I still love him or even if I forgive him for sleeping with her… I can never trust him again. How can you be with someone when you can't trust them, especially when…" she started but she stopped herself from finishing out of respect for her company.

"When he's a demon," he finished for her.

"I allowed myself to forget what he really was… that won't happen again," she replied venom laced her voice, looking him dead in the eyes.

Lorne could see her anger, her lack of trust and her determination to never be hurt again. He was about to push on when Angel came down the stairs.

"Buffy, Dawn's on the phone for you," he informed her. She looked at him with confusion

"Cordy heard it ring in your bag and answered it, she asked me to bring it down" he explained handing her, her cellphone.

"Dawnie, is everything okay?" she asked, sounding panicked.

"Everything is fine. It's just Faith is heading to her spiritual retreat with Giles and Willow in two days and she was going to drag me along to stuffy old England until I convinced her it was a good idea for me to hang out with you… you know… if that's cool?"

"Are you kidding me? That would be wonderful, Dawn!"

"Awesome!" She could hear Dawn bouncing around while Faith told her to calm down.

"Buffy?" asked Faith. Clearly she had taken the phone off the over excited teen.

"Hi Faith."

"Are you sure it's okay for Dawn to stay with you? I'm going to be gone for about eight weeks. I don't mind taking her with me."

She could hear Dawn begging no in the back ground and couldn't help but giggle. "No it's perfectly fine, Faith. I'm happy to have her," she reassured the other slayer. "You just take time to work on you. Dawn will be safe with me."

"All right."

Buffy heard Dawn scream "Yes!" and the sound of bouncing echoed through the phone again.

"Well, we're heading out in two days by plane. Do you want me to drop Dawn off that day?"

"No it's fine, I'll pick her up. I have people coming to look through the house anyway. I was going to ask Giles to show them through but now I guess I can."

"Are you selling the place?" Faith asked almost sounding fearful.

"No, I've been renting it out as a holiday house. Why someone would holiday in Sunnydale is beyond me," Buffy laughed.

"Couldn't agree more. Well, our plane leaves at eight that night."

"Okay, I'll be sure to get there by six, give you heaps of time."

"I can't thank you enough Buffy."

"It's not a problem, Faith. I'm happy to help. I just ask that you make sure Spike isn't there, I would rather avoid a run in."

"No, of course. I'll make she he is busy out of the way"

"Thanks, tell Dawn I'll see her in two days."

"Will do, bye Buffy."

"Bye," she replied before clicking the phone shut.

"Dawn coming to stay?" she looked up at Angel's words. She had almost forgotten that he and Lorne were still there.

"Yeah," she replied softly before walking past them and up the stairs. Lorne sighed as Angel looked at her retreating form.

"I'm getting the feeling she doesn't really like me."

Lorne looked at him shaking his head. "It took you two months to figure that out, Angel cakes?"

"Well, at first I figured she was just… you know, shy, but now I think it's me," he said, looking a little hurt and confused.

"Don't take it personally sugar plum, it's not you personally, just the demon in you," Lorne replied, patting him on the back before heading up the stairs himself.

It was then that Angel decided he had to sit down and really talk to Buffy. He didn't like the thought of a team member who didn't trust him because he had a demon in him. It could leave her distracted and that kind of thing got people killed in this type of work. No, tomorrow he would sit her down and they would talk, whether she liked it or not.


End file.
